"If I told you once, I told you 27 times... WORLD BLEEPIN' CHAMPIONS!" by Yankee Joe (Yankee Fan) BRONX, NY - From Day 1 this year, I said things would be restored to their natural order, that the Yankees would take back what they LET other teams have since crushing the Mutts in 2009. Now, it's here. It's over. The Yankees are World Champs. Mission accomplished. But it wasn't easy. There were a lot of "ifs" that could have swung it a different way. Here are some: If Godzilla had only stayed dead. If Shane Loserino catches Captain Jeter's line drive, Pedro gets out of the inning. Godzilla doesn't get to eat him alive like sushi. If Charlie had started Cliff Lee on 3 days rest. Instead he looks like one of Jerry's Kids. If Cole Hamels didn't turn into a girl with 2 games to go in the World Series. But he was tired. We know who wears the Survivor pants in his family. If Ryanne Howard didn't have to play for her husband Ryan. She just looked at too many balls going by. If Anaheim played like men instead of Little Leaguers. Mike Scioscia should have listened to Girardi. If Minnesota had more star power then Joe Maurer and Brett Favre. Instead they were turning green with envy.. If Boston didn't suck. If Omar wasn't an idiot and Jose and Carlos and Carlos and Maine and Ollie and Putz... Blah, blah, blah... But the "ifs" don't matter now, do they. The Yankees will be sipping champagne in the Canyon of Heroes while all the other teams and there fans are eating big plates of crow. Ah. Soak it in, losers. The Yankees... Are... Back!!! THE 2009 WORLD CHAMPION NY YANKEES!!! See you in Levine's hot tub with Cookie, Mrs Matt, Rex O'Rourkeand Left Coast Craig! P.s... Anyone seen my pal Yankees S_ck? He's probably busy looking for a new name.