UTOPIA, KS – Okay, we’ve all been armchair General Managers and/or bile-spewing critics of our team’s moves, lack of moves, contracts tendered, contracts not given, etc. And we’ve been this way pretty much since we stopped soiling our diapers and were big enough to fetch a relative a beer from the fridge. We’ve screamed about Management’s stupidity, cursed that lack of vision, fumed over their blatant cronyism and basically called for their heads on platters. We always knew that we could do better, that putting the right players on the field was as plain as the nose on your face… Or Jon Niese’s.

With yesterday’s MLB Trading Deadline now behind us, along with the angst-filled, pit-in-the-stomach-inducing couple/three hours leading up to it and it disgustingly fruitless aftermath along with it, it’s time to turn the tables – ON OURSELVES. We’ve all walked the walk. Now let’s talk the talk.

You have $125,000,000.00 and have to compete for the World Series – THIS YEAR. Further, you have two of your top 10 salaried players on the DL and have to have eaten one contract worth at least $6,000.00 – which is part of your budget. So, put up or shut up and while doing so, ask yourself:
Are you a Dombrowski or a Dumbrowski?

Here is our Starting Team:

  • Jacoby Ellsbury CF $449,500
  • Derek Jeter SS $21,600,000
  • Evan Longoria 3B $550,000
  • Ryan Howard1B $15,000,000
  • Jason Bay RF $7,800,000
  • Victor Martinez C $5,900,000
  • Carl Crawford LF $8,250,000
  • Dustin Pedroia 2B $1,750,000 (DL)
  • Tim Wakefield SP $7,800,000
  • Tim Lincecum SP $650,000
  • Josh Beckett SP $11,166,666
  • Dan Haren SP $7,500,000
  • Cole Hamels SP $4,350,000 (DL)
  • Livan Hernandez SP $1,000,000
  • Jonathan Papelbon CL $6,250,000
  • Pedro Feliciano RP $1,612,500
  • Phil Hughes RP/SP $432,000
  • Austin Kearns $8,000,000 EATEN CONTRACT

      1) You can’t have a starter simply waiting in the wings because you have a ton of money left. In other words, Joe Maurer can’t back up Victor Martinez.
      2) You can’t use our players. (Read that like a kid sticking his tongue out…)

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it and WALK THE WALK. Oh, and be careful; Adam Rubin is lobbying for your Personnel position.

    The often invisible, yet somehow still poignant, Rex O’Rourke, tomorrow…

    P.S… Check out our latest video, the one that sent tremors through Mattville. CLICK THIS.

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