MYLANTALAND, NY – It’s Friday and I’m assuming this site’s traffic will tank like a Production Assistant going d@wn on David Letterman. For those of you checking in, I hope your turkey day was great and that you’re digestive system is working like a finely oiled machine this morning.

Last week I covered sale items for a recession. So, while it IS Black Friday, if anyone spots a groovy price on a 52″ Panasonic Flat Panellet me know.
Chillin’ in front of my audio/visual dream.”

Personally, I am not one to partake in the crazy Holiday kick off sales that ensue today. I’m still not feeling in the giving mood to the Salvation Army people. Things just start TOO DAMN early for my liking but I’ll begrudgingly accept today as the kick off to the holiday season.

And since Cookie is my namesake, it won’t shock you to know that I am quite the baker. Post-Turkey Day starts off my Cookie Baking Bonanza. Unfortunately, I can’t find much room for my butter and eggs until I deal with these leftovers. In the spirit of leftovers, I give you this; my mental leftovers for your too full, too hung-over or too pre-Holiday grumpy pleasure:

  • Aimee Mann & New England Clam Chowder: With the latter pronounced chow-da these are the ONLY good things to come out of Boston. Mann was born in VA, but attended Boston’s Berkeley College of Music, so we attribute her musical chops, thusly. However, both should be enjoyed in moderation as too much can make you feel very queasy.
  • Three words: DEEP FRIED TURKEY. : Just ask Eddiz, Missy Jilly or jgclancy.
  • perezhilton.jpg
    Add some orange colored face makeup to Perez Hilton and he was clearly separated at birth from an Oompa Loompa. This, I find to be his only REMOTELY redeeming quality.
  • All the money in the universe cannot buy you class. Case and point? Alex Rodriguez and his… gum. Can he appear in public WITHOUT a piece of chewing gum? Does he appear in PRIVATE without chewing gum? We may need to ask Ms. Hudson, or perhaps her waxing aesthetician can inform us.
  • You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.
  • Most men who drive Porsches ARE indeedy having a mid-life crisis. At least that’s the case here in Connecticut.
  • Speaking of… I still have not spotted Steve Phillips – but I’m really hopeful.
  • NYC’s Second Avenue Subway is coming… soon. And when it does, I’m sure those estimated payments I’m supposed to get from Social Security might be ready to be cut for me as I hit retirement age. Then again, Social Security will be bankrupt by then.. so what am I worrying about.
    I’ll believe it when I see it.
  • [Kyle] Orton Hears a Who: As in… Who expected anything this season from the Broncos? You? No… Me neither. And while I am not confident they’ll go all the way, I am enjoying the ride. I really like what I saw from the Denver D last night and love the win against the Giants – this shut up Mr. Cookie – but I’m not a fan that it helps the Cowboys.
  • If you’ve had one child (or definitely two), you need to wear a bra in public. I’m talking to YOU, Britney Spears.
    Brit, Brit… Get an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder for them pups.. PLEASE!!!
  • Is Jocelyn Wildenstein(aka The Catwoman) dead?
  • I’ve got not a care in the world about any Kardasian girl, their mother, or old lesbian look-alike, Bruce Jenner.
  • Isn’t the Snuggie a law suit waiting to happen? I mean, how long before someone trips over it and sues the pants off it’s creators?
  • Despite the fact that the string bean casserole goes nearly untouched at EVERY Thanksgiving dinner table, I did miss it at my Thanksgiving meal.
  • This is the correct spelling of MISCELLANEOUS. If the crack MTM Editing and Tech team doesn’t fix this soon in the Categories portion of this site, I’m staging a takeover by every English Major who resides on this site.
  • Can someone tell me who bought the Mets’ “MADOFF” Jacket? I need to know.
  • A few weeks ago at my local gym, I saw a woman standing naked at the paper towel dispenser. She pulled out about FORTY paper towels, and then proceeded to the shower. The frightful image and the whole bizarre scenario still haunt me.
  • I think I miss the Phillie Phanatic.
  • Your LAP is not the appropriate place for a dog while driving. The next person I see doing this is going to get their car whacked with one of the eggs I carry shotgun for JUST such vehicular offenses. Also, people who get into the EZ PASS Lane who don’t have EZ PASS should be shot on site.
  • And finally… cheesecake has no place at a Thanksgiving dessert table but always has a place here on MeetThe Matts. So, here you go, something nice to redeem the visual offenses. Be THANKFUL I didn’t go the BEEFCAKE route. I never watch ABC but I thought I’d show you what you were missing. Her name is Sofia Vergara and she’s on some show that surely will be canceled soon. Enjoy her while you can and you’re welcome.
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    About Cookie 101 Articles
    Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.