HAPPY HALLOWEEN: The Scary B*stards in NFL, NHL & NBA

Jason or Jacques Plante???

THE LAST STADIUM ON THE LEFT – My friend Jordan was in charge of setting up the haunted house at our kids’ elementary school’s Halloween Festival this year, and he was determined to make it count.  “You know how most haunted houses pretty much just have a guy in a Dracula costume jump out at you from around a corner, and it’s lame?” he asked the gathered 4th and 5th graders who were coerced into helping.  “That’s not scary…real scary is when you see something that looks kind of normal, but then you realize there’s something ‘off’ about it, something that really doesn’t belong there, and it’s very creepy.”  The kids just stared at him blankly.  “You mean like Paranormal Activity?” one girl asked, and Jordan sighed.  “Not really…but okay.”  I liked where Jordan was coming from, though, and so I’m going to try and apply it to this weekend’s sports activity.

FOOTBALL:  The poor Dolphins may not officially be sucking for Luck, at least according to an angry Reggie Bush…who after yesterday owns exactly two 100+ rushing days in his career, both of which happened to come against the Giants.  The Giants are making a habit of scaring their fans this year by constantly playing down to their opponents.  As for Luck, he needed three OTs to defeat a USC team completely decimated by Bush’s shenanigans.  Tim Tebow got too much press (as per usual) last week for coming back on these same Dolphins, but this week he showed why he is in fact NOT SCARY…though I wonder if he was playing scared just thinking of the Hell House shows he probably visited this time of year as a kid.

(go to about the 1:50 mark for good ideas on how Tebow can start getting his receivers to catch the ball...)

How could the NFL schedulers give Oakland and their fans a bye on this of all weekends?  There should be an official Raiders game every Halloween the way the Cowboys and Lions play every Thanksgiving.  On an unrelated note, wouldn’t Jack Lambert make a great Jack O’ Lantern idea?  SCARY.

HOCKEY:  I should defer to our resident hockey expert and historian Cheesy Bruin for any Scary happenings in the NHL lately (apart from the ghoulish Flyer fans), but the one headline of note I found was about Sean Avery going back on the waiver wire.  Nothing too scary there, except that his official player profile picture on NHL.com looks suspiciously like the infamous D.B Cooper.  SCARY

In other picture comparisons, was goalie mask pioneer Jacques Plante the inspiration for Jason Voorhees? (Click for Jason)

SOCCER:  Did you know that teams from Los Angeles and New York are playing each other in the MLS Semi-Finals?  Did you know the MLS was even in its Semi-Finals?  Neither did I.  I’ve got chills.  SCARY.

BASKETBALL:  This is scary news for some, but for others (like me) it’s like Christmas!  Talks between that evil warlock David Stern and the players have broken down yet again, and now it looks like this year’s NBA season is lost until at least December.  So until then, the most fun thing you’ll see involving a basketball is the following clip… SCARY AWESOME:

That’ll do it for today, folks…now try keep your hands out of your own candy jars until after the kids have raided it.  Grote2DMax will help soothe those aching tummies tomorrow, unless his power is still out – then look for The Matts to come off the bench.

Oh, and one more video for Jacgues Plante:

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About West Coast Craig 226 Articles
West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.