Grote’s Gripes: Sports Stars Feel Power of Twitter

Tweet, Tweet…

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As many of you know, The Matts (whose Tweet Pic went Twitter-crazy yesterday) have been trying to promote our columns and the site through the use of Twitter.  I for one have been slow to adapt to this trend.  I admit it is a great vehicle to self promote.  At the same time it is also a great way to get yourself in a whole lot of trouble.  Look what it did for Anthony Weiner’s popularity.  Twitter is perfect for people with short attention spans.

That means people will sometimes Tweet without thinking. Just look at Twitter’s number one Tweeter, Ashton Kutcher. Here is his take on the firing of Joe Paterno:
“How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste.”

Well, since Ashton sent off that tweet he heard from some of his eight million followers why Joe Paterno was fired. As a form of penance, Ashton has decided to take a break from the Twitter universe, opening the door for some less famous Tweeters, who are seeing their Tweets read by the masses:

Backup QB: Tough Job But Someone Has To Do It

Andy Reid: “I’m not saying Micheal Vick is not hurt, but I’ve seen tougher ribs on a McRib sandwich. Chomp.”

Jonathan Pappelbon: “My personality, or lack thereof, will fit right in with Philly fans.  NY Sucks.” 
Matt Leinart: “Matt Schaub is out for the year?”
 Jerry Sandusky:  “Every donation to my Second Mile foundation allows me to help another boy discover a Happy Valley they never knew.” 
Kris Humphries: “Now that Kim Kardashian has dropped me I see Dancing With The Stars in my future.  Hey it’s a step up from playing for the Nets.”
Matt Leinart: “Did someone just tweet that I’m playing next game?”
John Cappelletti: “Is this what that pervert Sandusky meant when he told me he had ‘Something For Joey‘?
Wait Just A Minute There, Sandusky!

Billy Hunter: David Stern is responsible for more black men being out of work than President Obama.”

Chad Ochocinco: “Many people ask what my last name really means.  I’m here to say right now that the literal translation is ‘8 Mexicans drowning’.”

Matt Lineart: “What team am I on again?”

Jeffrey Loria: “People better take the Miami Marlins seriously this year.  Take a look at our new uniforms and you can see we mean business.”

Marlins Mean Business

Ozzie Guillen: “Our new Miami Marlin logo looks like it was designed by a bunch of South Beach faggots at a rave.”

Bill Belichek: “I meant it when I said the Jets offense scares me, mostly because their wide recievers have been known to carry guns.”
Matt Lineart:“Does anyone have a copy of the Houston Texans playbook?  Mine’s all wet”

Ozzie Guillen: “Mr. Loria wants me to apologize to the South Beach faggots.  I know you had nothing to do with this logo, you would have made a much better one than this piece of crap.”

Stay tuned tomorrow for Angry Ward, who promises to tweet more anger in the months ahead.

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About The Matts 375 Articles started out as a NY Mets website and organically grew into an entity covering all professional sports. Our daily contributors, as diverse as they may be, share two important traits: -They toil for the "love of the game..." -They have a sense of humor. This is, after all, sports entertainment.