WINFIELD, KS –Last week I gave you the first part of the list of defunct college bowl games. This week we’ll take on the rest. People who are looking for the Toilet Bowl or Tidy Bowlwill be disappointed because they didn’t exist. Here is the second part of the postseason bowls of yesteryear.
Great Lakes Bowl – The inaugural game in 1947 was actually played on Lake Huron. The plan was to rotate to each of the other Great Lakes in following years. Unfortunately the ice on Lake Huron couldn’t support the overweight band members of Georgia Southern and cracked in half plunging three tuba players to their icy deaths. No other Great Lakes Bowls followed.
Gridiron Classic – Just because you call something a “classic” doesn’t mean it is. Like when a DJ announces he is about to play a classic by Styx.
Heritage Bowl – Atlanta, GA hosted this bowl throughout the 90’s to celebrate the heritage of their city. After being swept by the Yankees in the 1999 World Series, Atlanta decided that their heritage as baseball’s biggest chokers wasn’t a thing they wanted to promote any further.
Houston Bowl –Played on Houston Street between Bleecker and Lafayette (two manhole covers of course) until the never ending construction caused them to give up on the bowl altogether.
International Bowl – Toronto decided to get in on the fun from 2006–09 but when the South Florida team bus arrived for the 2009 game Canadian officials realized they were unwittingly importing hundreds of guns along with Florida’s brightest college students.
Mercy Bowl – The Mercy killing took place in LA in 1971.
Missouri-Kansas Bowl – Nobody wanted to see Missouri play Kansas in the regular season, never mind in a bowl.
Oahu Bowl – How can a bowl in Honolulu, Hawaii not make it?
Oil Bowl – Gallagher’s grandfather hosted this 1940’s bowl where goalposts were formed by four oil geysers gushing straight up at the goal line.
Orange Blossom Classic – This Miami, FL bowl ran for 45 years until having to be finally sent off to retirement at phase 3 of Del Boca Vista in 1978.
Pasadena Bowl – The grandmommy of them all.
Pecan Bowl – Really? Did someone think the pecan deserved a bowl?
Pineapple Bowl – Another failed Hawaiian bowl.
Poi Bowl – The most disgusting food to ever have a bowl named after it.
Presidential Cup Bowl – Harry Truman decided the winner of this game would get the Presidential Cup, jock strap not included.
Refrigerator Bowl – You wouldn’t be laughing if you ever saw the Refrigerator Bowl. Word on the street is that William Perrybowls his weight, which is amazing because he weighs more than 300.
Salad Bowl – Worst name of any sporting event EVER.
Seattle Bowl – Was outsourced to India and is now a post season cricket bowl.
Shrine Bowl – Ironically there is no shrine in Little Rock, Arkansas for this bowl that went belly up in 1949.
Silicon Valley Football Classic – Silicon and football don’t mix, unless you are a cheerleader.
Sunflower Bowl – I can’t rank on the poor little sunflower bowl. It was always so fragile.
Tobacco Bowl – Played for nearly 50 years before C. Everett Koop decided it was bad for your health.
Vulcan Bowl – Doc Blanchard won the Mr. Spock MVP trophy for this bowl in 1945.
Stay tuned tomorrow for Angry Ward, a marathon bowler if there every was one.