A Sure Thing: Unqualified Predictions For The Weekend

Couch City, USA – This weekend we’ll narrow down the dance contestants for the Vince Lombardi Trophyto four. Like last round, all of the games this weekend should be entertaining. You’ve heard predictions from the experts, so now I’ll give you my unqualified and less than rational picks for this weekend’s games. Lets take a look at the match-ups.

Saturday afternoon, the New Orleans Saints travel to Candlestick as 3.5 point favorites over San Francisco. The 49ers had a very strong season. They won 13 games albeit in the weakest division in sports. But they did play well enough to get a first round bye and now they host a Saints team that also won 13 games. New Orleans have put in a strong bid to be the second or third Greatest Show on Turf, but they have been less prolific outdoors. And playing at Candlestick, aka Satan’s Toilet(pronounced “terlet”) is never easy. I think the Saints will pull out a narrow win, but I’m riding with the 49ers with the points and under 47 points.

Saturday night, Jesus’ red-headed stepchild, Tim Tebow and the rest of the Broncos head to New England as double digit underdogs. The Brady Bunch will be well rested and looking to make a statement. I can’t see Denver pulling out a victory in New England, but the way Tebow abused the Steelers’ secondary like hipsters abuse open bars and free wifi, or how people from Jacksonville abuse dignity, I’m not ready to write them off completely. The Pats win, but the Broncos cover. Over 50 points seems like a lot but I’m betting on a shootout and taking the over.

Ray Lewis still can’t find that white suit. On the bright side, he’s rested and hungry for one more Super Bowl ring. The Ravens should slice through the Texans on their way to the AFC championship game. The Texans have had a good run but I think it comes to an end on Sunday. The Texans wont be able to get much going on offense and Baltimore covers the 7.5 point spread.

The last time the Giants visited Lambeau, Brett Favre was distracted sexting every woman whose phone number he had. It had become a familiar Favre story his last couple of years in the league. Interception, playoff loss. Last year, Aaron Rogers made sure the dark days of Favre in Green Bay were forgotten. The Giants have gotten hot at the right time and there are a lot of similarities between the current crop of G-men and the team that beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. Lets hope Rogers is distracted by the Discount Double Check dance and the Giants can perform another smash and grab victory at Lambeau. My head says the Packers ease to victory, but I’m sticking with my heart and taking the Giants to win. Take the under (52.5).

Thats all I have time for this go-round. Be sure to buy some scotch, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and flights to Dubai. And tune in tomorrow for the Public Professor, who is always a sure thing.

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About Different Matt 269 Articles
Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.