The Envelope Please

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Well, I guess I got to write about this stuff. The only sports of note yesterday were the NBA All Offense Game and the Academy Awards (and frankly I didn’t even notice that the Daytona 500 was apparently postponed until today), so let’s break down them both and report on the interesting.

In the NBA All-Star Game, where would-be defenders clear lanes faster than wailing fire trucks, the score at half-time (88-69) resembled the full game score of most Charlotte Hornet losses this year. Scoring at will may not be as boring as a 0-0 tie in soccer, but it’s close, and give me a 1-0 baseball game any day over this.

Hey now, you're an all-star!

Since it’s how most of the scoring comes, they should just go ahead and make a rulethat all points in these things must come off of alley-oops. The idea that Kobe Bryant achieved something by breaking the record for most NBA All Star points is hilarious by itself, since it’s is a little like Homer Simpson beating James Coco’s record for eating donuts in Hell.  Lo and behold, however, the third quarter saw him actually take a hard foul from Dwayne Wade, bloodying the Black Mamba’s nose.  Not quite Rudy Tomjanovich getting decked in the worst atrocity committed by a Kermit (Washington) until Muppets From Space, but it at least started to feel like a game after that.

Hugh Jackman is making me do this.

As for the Oscars... In what seemed like a relatively weak year for quality movies, 2011 did see some sports films make it down the red carpet.

Moneyball, of course, with its strange casting of Brad Pitt as John Kruk making more dough after his testicular cancer surgery, got a lot of nominations but couldn’t bag any statuettes.
Hugo, about 1934 White Sox automaton Hugo Klaerner (who went 0-2 with 21 earned runs, 4 dingers, and 16 walks in his two career starts) won five Oscars, but mostly in technical categories.
Real Steel, the authentic story of George “The Animal” Steel, got a surprise nomination in special effects (through movie magic it really looked like he was eating that turnbuckle!), but the make-up department went unheralded because most people didn’t believe that was fake back hair all over him.

Once a Yankee...

On a similar noteNick Nolte didn’t win for his turn as an MMA trainer in Warrior because voters just don’t appreciate the difficulty of playing Nick Nolte as an MMA trainer.
The one sports movie that did win was the fine documentary Undefeated, which was not about the ’72 Dolphins.
Of course the big winner was The Artist, which was kind of about sports since it was about Prince’s halftime performance at the Super Bowl a few years ago.

If I’ve gone all this way without a Billy Crystal comment, it’s because I’m hoping that we can all move on and let the healing begin.

Grote2DMax will offer up some award-worthy topic tomorrow.

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About West Coast Craig 226 Articles
West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.