CLARKSVILLE, CA – This week The Monkees bid adieu to fave cutie, Davy Jones. At the age of sixty-six, the guy who seemed to have never been let out of a veal cage bought it with a heart-attack and boarded the Last Train to Clarksville. And just so you know, my favorite Monkee was Peter Tork, not to be confused with Peter Tosh, not to be confused with Tosh.O…all favorites of mine. Three Degrees of Peter…if you will.
Anyway, though the Monkee schmaltz is a little over the top for me – Really?! no one cared about these guys in the last FORTY years – I am glad NOT to hear the music of other people played ad nauseum. So, for those of you too young to remember, one of their biggest songs was I’m A Believer. And it got me to thinking about a few things I’m firmly believing this week:
JLO… Back To Ho: To the glee of adoring fans, it seems that JLo is back to ho status. She showed up at the Academy Awards wearing a very sheer, ribbony dress with her lesser-known twins peaking out. She’s also dating a twenty-four year old dancer named Casper (neither white, nor a ghost). I’m A Believer J-Lo will be well back to her ho ways.. complete with booty shorts… soon. P-Diddy. Please stand by.
Burnett Out of Yanks’ Orbit: Not a few short weeks after the Yanks spent the best $20 Million in franchise history by unhooking themselves from head case, AJ Burnett, he summarily took a ball to the face during trying to lay down a bunt during spring training. (Yet ANOTHER case for the AL and the DH people.) The result? A fractured orbital socket (dat’s dee eyeball area). Word is recovery could be as short as a month. I’m A Believer that for the first time in history, the Yanks have finally made a fantastically well timed contract decision. Can I get an Amen, Diff??
Snookie Gets Preggy: Jersey Shore’s favorite Oompa Loompa poster girl for UTI’s, Snookie is pregnant. I’m A Believer the case for forced sterilization has been made.
A Red Sox Valentine: Spring training is heating up with words flying about Valentine managing the Sox and the fans are getting excited. Will Bobby be good for the Sox? Will he bring a case of beer and some stuff from his restaurant in Stamford to the clubhouse? Who knows?!?! I’m A Believer that no matter what, Bobby will do well by the Sox this year. Really, how could he do any worse than the end of their last season.
Music Update: Whitney Houston. Still dead. I’m A Believer she was recently buried so can we stop covering this on the news now?!?
The New Dirty Birds: Yadir Molina was resigned by the Cards today for a five-year, $75 Million contract. Also on the Cards’ roster this year, short-stop Rafael Furcal, the Mets’ castoff Carlos “The Wandering Mole” Beltran, and Matt “Don’t-Start-Singin” Holliday. What would the Cardinals be post-Pujols? I’m A Believer , if nothing else, the Cardinals will be a VERY interesting team to watch. The reason? Qualquiera.
And with that, I believe I’m over my word count and close to my bedtime for a girl who has to be up at 4:45AM. I’m A Believer you should all come back tomorrow for the first part of every weekend’s treat, The Public Professor. Have a good one kiddies.