Grote’s Gripes: 2012 vs 1994

Messier With Lord Stanley’s Cup

NEW YORK, NY –It certainly looks like we could have a repeat of 1994 in the NHL with the Rangers driving towards the finals against a pacific coast opponent. Their 3-0 victory last night over the Devils has them only 3 wins away from the Stanley Cup finals.  The are many similarities between 1994 and 2012 that are easy to spot.  The Rangers and Devils are facing off in the Eastern Conference finals.  The Simpsons are headlining FOX’s Sunday Night programming.  Short Matt is up to his eyeballs in debt.  The more things change the more they stay the same.

Nineteen-ninety-four really was a crazy year. ESPN did a great 30 for 30 piece on just June 17th of that year, which included the O.J. Simpson car chase and game 5 of the NBA Championship with the Knicks taking a 3 games to 2 lead over the Houston Rockets.  Let’s take a look at how 1994 matches up with 2012 to see if the Rangers really are a team of destiny.

1994: Tonya Harding defends the piece of garbage that is her husband Jeff Gillooly after he lies about attacking Nancy Kerrigan.
2012: Rusty Hardin defends the piece of garbage that is his client Roger Clemens after he lies to congress about using PEDs.
Edge: 1994.  Tonya Hardinghad more of a leg to stand on.

Even Roger Doesn’t Want A Piece Of Tonya These Days

1994: Tony Gwynn and Paul O’Neill led their leagues in hitting with .400+ averages on May 14th.
2012: David Wright and Josh Hamilton lead their leagues in hitting with .400+ averages on May 14th.
Edge: 1994.  The only thing over 400 now for Gwynn is his weight.

1994: Kurt Cobain blows his head off.
2012: Junior Seau blows his chest off.
Edge: 1994.  The head shot always wins.

1994: Overblown media coverage of a white Bronco.
2012: Overblown media coverage of a white Bronco.
Edge: 1994.  At least Al Cowlings’ Bronco was seen passing successfully on occasion while on national TV.

1994: Newt Gingrich convinces the Republicans he is the man to lead them.
2012: Newt Gingrich fails to convince the Republicans he is the man to lead them.
Edge: Even.  Like a comet, Newt will return every 18 years until the Republicans admit creationism is a bunch of nonsense.

1994: Tom Hanks wins best actor for the best picture winning film Forrest Gump.
2012: Jean Dujardin wins best actor for the best picture winning film The Artist.
Edge: 1994.  I hated Forrest Gumpbut at least he wasn’t French.

How European

1994: While in LA to attend the Grammy’s, Whitney Houston wins record of the year for “I Will Always Love You”.
2012: While in LA to attend the Grammy’s, Whitney Houston dies in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton.
Edge: 1994.  Baths are completely overrated.

1994: Nolan Richardson’s Arkansas Razorbacks win NCAA tournament with 40 minutes of hell each game.
2012: John Calipari’s Kentucy Wildcats win NCAA tournament with 40 minutes of classwork each semester.
Edge: 1994.  Give ’em hell Nolan.

1994: Bobby Bonilla has 3 years left on his contract with the NY Mets which pays him $5,800,000 annually.
2012: Bobby Bonilla has 24 years left on his contract with the NY Mets which pays him $1,193,248 annually.
Edge: 1994.  You think Jason Bay’s contract is untradeable?  You can’t trade a guy who retired 11 years ago.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Angry Ward, who unfortunately for him has a long term contract with this website.

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