July 4th/Wimbledon: Don’t we usually have the Brits trying to upstage us with their big racket of tennis at Wimbledon? Usually, at LEAST the Women’s Final on July 4th? Or so it seemed. I have to imagine Cam James is totally off for this also not happening as the holiday falls in the middle of the week. Annoying.
Weather Related: Why are people BITCHING it’s so damn hot?!?! It’s SUMMER. It’s SUPPOSED to be hot. In fact, people were pre-bitching this winter too. “This is a REALLY mild winter, so this summer is going to be REALLY hot I bet.” PIPE the f*ck down, get an ice pop and please remember it’s summer.
Home Run Derby: Do we care? Unless Robinson Cano is in it again with his father pitching for him (and Chris Berman RUINING the entire experience for his incessant, overly excited blather), I don’t care.
Tom/Kat: Take THAT! Did anyone not see this coming? Does anyone CARE? This is Tom Cruise’s THIRD failed attempt at matrimony, and still for speculation that he’s..uh… playing for the other team. (Apparently they keep that Scientology closet locked.. TIGHT!). So who cares?!?! Oh.. wait…
Anderson Cooper… is GAY. (Another shocker.) And THAT is who cares about the Tom Cruise bit of news above. Hope springs eternal here. More so than Anderson’s chances with Michael Phelps.
Basketball: Two things I’m really annoyed about. One… L.A. didn’t burn the city down in celebration of winning whatever the frack NBA Championship trophy is (Yeah… I care THAT much to Google it). Two… I still have not received a call about a spot as a Brooklyn Nets Dancer. I have it on GOOD authority that they will only accept ethnic girls or those who can move ethnically. I also am pretty sure they’ll be wearing black, sequined booty shorts… which is RIGHT up my alley.
Mets: I like them beating Papelbon. He’s still a Boston d’bag to Yankee fans.
Stay cool, fools and come back tomorrow to a guy who looks GREAT in black, sequined booty shorts, The Public Professor. (Though that may only be if he’s standing next to a naked chested Junoir Blaber).