Trading Deadline: Here’s What To Trade

Olympic outfit by Max Fischer.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Baseball’s Trading Deadline is tomorrow night, and a number of big moves have already happened in the last week. Ichiro to the Yanks; Hanley Ramirez and Kevin Youklis are already paying dividends in their new settings; the Angels making Zack Greinke their number three starter; the surprise Pirates proving to be buyers with Wandy Rodriguez; while the disappointing Marlins have gone into a familiar looking fire sale mode. JJ Johnson and perhaps James Shields are still being bandied about. The Mets have so far stood pat (though, on a side note, there was an Ollie Perez sighting last night, blowing King Felix’s win in Seattle and vulturing it for himself for his first in three years). By the way, while they showed some life and luck against the Yankees this weekend, how desperate are the Red Sox? They were apparently in the Francisco Liriano sweepstakes until the last minute, and they’re still desperately trying to unload Josh Beckett, while the Yankees have to decide if they’re in the Chase Utley (or is it Hedley?) market, or if can ride out Eric Chavez before he inevitably breaks down.

Anyway, let’s look at some Trading Deadline deals:

In a deal of old guys, Retirement traded Miguel Batista (41, picked up by the Braves after the Mets dropped him) for Jason Kendall (38…wait, Jason Kendall is only 38?) JK is now Retired after many hard years behind the plate

Perennial world futbol power Spain is putting their Olympic soccer team on the block after it lost to perennial CONCACAF  punching bag Honduras.

The London Olympics opening ceremony is now going into fire sale mode as well… as in, they ought to set fire to that entire set. History is looking to trade some one-armed machinery victims and child laborers for the happy dancing industrial revolution workers on display. Sanity is looking to trade simple silence for Matt Lauer’s inane commentary. Yes, your kids know who Mary Poppins is, and what text messages look like, nobody cares! Also, speaking of one armed children laborers, the US is rumored to be looking to trade designer Ralph Lauren not only for having them all made in China, but for putting them in berets like they’re attending Rushmore.

Water Polo has some appeal…
Not even 007 could make terry-cloth work.

I’m trading this topic in for a paragraph on… Water Polo. I don’t know anything about water polo, but it looks like it could be a cool sport on both the men’s and women’s side. The athletes are fit and strong not just in that lean, long, freakish way that the competitive swimmers are, but with muscles. They have to beat the hell out of each other, which is always exciting, especially when the threat of drowning is involved. But there are some things working against it that I don’t think it can overcome. One, nobody looks cool in a swim cap, ear protector combination. Second, nobody looks cool in a short terrycloth robe.

Somebody who could pull that look off, however, Grote2DMax is tomorrow.

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About West Coast Craig 226 Articles
West Coast Craig reports from Hollywood with an endearingly laid back style. A happily married father of two little boys, WCC has an avocado tree in his yard, plays the hot corner in a "Valley" hardball league and always manages to take cool sports-related mini road-trips, often with his immediate clan. He hails from Oneonta, NY but has been "So very L.A." for twenty years, so his sports teams are the Yankees AND the Dodgers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the L.A. Lakers and the Colorado Avalanche/Quebec Nordiques. WCC loves bacon-wrapped hotdogs and can touch his heel and his ear... with his hand.