Summer Sports Smells:

smells like victory

NASAL INSTITUTE – The Summer Sports Smells are all around us.  And more so than any other season perhaps, summer’s aromas are strong and sporty. Let’s revel in them.

Fresh cut grass: I ain’t no sucker.  I don’t mow. Oh hell no. But for any real sports fan, the smell of fresh cut grass means one thing and one thing only: baseball. It goes hand in hand with oiled leather and the crack of the bat. Some of the major league grounds crews go a little over the top cutting patterns into the outfield in my opinion, but either way, it’s one of the finest smells of summer.

Horse sweat: The summer also means the track, and the track’s got lots of sweaty ponies. Some sweat more than others, and a few can get a real froth going. Horse sweat isn’t the most romantic, but it smells better than horse manure, and on a good day, it smells like money.

Baby oil: Anyone over the age of forty is old enough to remember an era before suntan lotion. When the goal wasn’t to protect yourself from the sun’s blistering rays, but to maximize them. And one of the classic ways to do that was by slathering on the baby oil. Squirt, glisten, and tan.

let’s grease up

Lighter fluid: More and more people use gas grills, but some of us are still firing up the briquettes. Get in on there good and light it up. I once used rubbing alcohol.  It burned clean and hot, but it wasn’t quite right. Gotta get that lighter fluid smell in there just to know you’re cooking with a chemical fire.

My balls: You can’t play most summer sports without balls. So during the winter I keep my balls in a cotton pouch, kind of like a large marble sack. Then when the weather gets warmer, I pull out my balls and play with them. After having been in the sack all winter, they smell like linen.

Cheesy Bruin smells like a winner tomorrow.

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About The Public Professor 79 Articles
Mattville's George Plimpton, The Public Professor, is indeed a real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate professor at a major Maryland university. But because he doesn't have a cell phone or cable, he's crazy enough to be with us. A member of Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse, the terrorized Bronx graffiti artist's by correcting their grammar. His loves? The Yankees, Knicks, NY Rangers and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He also has a real website: ThePublicProfessor.com (http://www.thepublicprofessor.com/).