Tag: Yankees
Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets Pest, Football Feeds, and Other Things I’ll Be Missing
STILL IN FLORIDA – So much news to report. Let’s get to it! For those of you who don’t know, Publix is a huge Supermarket chain mostly in Florida, but in the South in general. It’s clean, the employees are ridiculously personable, and you can drive a Semi down the frozen food aisle while maintaining […]
Yankees Will Lose Because of Joe Biden. Plus: Goose Gossage, Tim Tebow, Mets
NOTE: The Coronavirus is NOT something Mets fans have been suffering with, like Bell’s Palsy, for all but two year years of the team’s existence. CORONA [QUEENS], NY – The planets are all aligning, Ladies and Germs. (Too soon for Coronavirus jokes?) Further, via Scientific Method we are able to predict/hypothesize with 93.6% accuracy the […]
Replacement Friday: MLB Rule Changes, Hobbies For Jeff Wilpon Away From Mets
“What is the point of having new ownership if the boob who sunk the franchise to bush league depths gets to stay in charge? – Replacement Matt GROUNDHOG DAY, PA – Winter is waning, spring is just around the corner, birds are chirping and a Chinese Hoax is taking hold. Pitcher and Catchers have reported […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Derek, Zion, Freddie, and Super Bowl Ready
BRONX, NY – I’m back from self-imposed exile and, to borrow from legendary sports enthusiast Barry Manilow, ready to take a chance again. There’s plenty to talk about today, and none of it involves a bunch of absolute losers in Virginia who like dressing up as G.I. Joes but would piss themselves silly if they ever […]
Yankees Kill Baseball: Why Gerrit Cole is the Worst Signing Ever
NEW YORK, NY – It’s frigid here in NYC. Even the mercury is cold. And cold temps can make for a cold heart, especially when it comes to All-Things-Fuzzy for the Yankees and their blind legion of gluttonous, greedy fans frothing at the mouth for an immediate Free Agent Fix. No matter what the cost […]
Replacement Matt: Notes for New Mets Owner Steve Cohen and Bobby Bonilla
WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – Yes kids, Santa has come early this year and granted all the good little Mets boys and girls wishes… The Wilpons are selling their stake in the team to the man who will be the wealthiest owner in all sports. No more penny-pinching and dumpster-diving. No more being just good enough […]
Corporate Recruiter CC Sabathia, PLUS… Knicks David Fizdale on Hot Seat
SPANISH HARLEM – CC Sabathia has retired, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t still consider himself a New York Yankee. On his podcast with Ryan Rucco (CC Sabathia’s Farewell to the Yankees), they talked about his love for the team and how he will continue to provide support for his former teammates. There has […]
New York Knicks Start Pre-Season With a Win. Are They Any Good?
SPANISH HARLEM – Thank you Kevin Durant for telling people the New York Knicks aren’t cool. There is nothing better than a player quoting the words of a ten-year-old to describe why free agents don’t want to play in New York. I totally agree that stars have shied away from this organization and they will […]
Replacement Matt Friday: Be Bold Brodie, The Breadman Commeth. Sports Pr!cks
WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – Good morning! Hope everyone is enjoying the Chinese Hoax of temps in the Dubai range to the Pacific Northwest in a matter of minutes. Well, the MLB regular season is over and the New York Metropolitans are now in search of a new manager, after wisely dumping the-in-way-over-his-head Mickey Callaway. […]
MLB, NBA, NHL to Resume? Not Without Money Problems. Blake Snell, LeBron
SPANISH HARLEM – The NBA, MLB and NHL have all had plans to resume or start their season at some point this season. While many people thought – and still believe – that we won’t have any sports whatsoever, I see the effort being made by these organizations to eventually get their product on the […]
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