NEW YORK, NY – While yesterday was a BEAUT of a day, very [not Cleveland] Indian Summer. You can’t help getting a little bummed about the usual autumnal things – like the Mets thinking about golf – that signal last licks for summer. Yesterday, Lori Levine talked about the transition from bikinis to tank tops (and she talked sports, too), and all of this got wondering: Summer vs Fall; What’s Better For Sports? Here’s my breakdown:
Summer: Stale Ale. Beer at ball games always disappoints. It’s never cold enough and rarely stays cold… or I don’t drink fast enough. Year after year the price gouging never disappoints. Next year I’m partaking in the Cookie-Gets-The-Tickets/Angry Ward Gets-The-Beers deal in attending a ball game. I intend to arrive very thirsty.
Fall: Pumpkin Ale. It never disappoints. It always tastes good. As gimmicky seasonal beers go, this is the only one I’ll bite for.
4) NBA & NHL:
Summer: NBA Championships. This way-too-long-a-season FINALLY wraps up in June. The victorious city gets to set itself on fire and NBA players can get back to banging starlets for off-season attention.
Fall: The NHL and hockey are back! This means another chance for the NY Rangers to bring the Cup back home. Oh, wait… there might be a LOCKOUT come Saturday at midnight. That, and the fact that the Broadway Blues have disappointed me since I was still single and ready to mingle.
LOVE… if there’s hockey. Hate… if there’s not. LOVE with the intensity of a THOUSAND suns if the Rangers get to the finals this year.
3) TENNIS vs BASEBALL
Summer: I hate tennis. There’s too much of it on. But… I hate the baseball All-Star Game and fat f*ck Chris Berman makes what might be a mildly entertaining Home Run Derby as unwatchable as fat f*ck Rex Ryan sprouting wood for sucking his wife’s toes. Yeah, I hate Berman that much.
Fall: YANKEES GOING TO THE POST SEASON! Albeit by the skin of their teeth this year… THIS never gets old. I don’t expect Mets fans to relate.
Summer:Training camps and Fantasy League Drafts. Ugh. I don’t care where he is stickin’ it, nor do I care what Antonio Cromartie is doing once he’s in training camp. I don’t care if Tim Tebow will eventually get the ball. I don’t care if The Sanchize will be trusted with the offense and the virginity of Greenwich High School girls. But… NEWSFLASH: Marc Sanchez is now going older! WAY older. COUGAR older. Eva Longoria older! Eva’s trying her hand with some different pro balls now… Finally, I don’t care who you’ve got on your Fantasy team and I don’t want to hear you yell at the TV like you actually OWN an NFL player!
Fall: If you couldn’t tell by the above irky summer ‘Hate’ for pre-season preening, I’m an ACTION girl. I like getting to brass tacks. Things that count. GAME TIME if you will. NFL Season. Sixteen regular season games. Make ’em count boys.
Summer: The Boys of Summer. Triathlon Season, with all swim-bike-run workouts outside in nature’s glory. Bikini weather. Shorts and tank top weather. Longer days. Heirloom tomatoes & mangoes. Frosty beers that hit the spot. The beach. And the beach. And… THE BEACH. Sigh.
Fall: Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Apple-picking and Cookie’s own homemade apple pie. Scarves. Little kids dressed up on Halloween. The smell of wood burning fireplaces. Thanksgiving. Good sleeping weather. Fine fall drinks – the dark spirits and the rich reds.
LIKE… It’s not summer, but I’m warming to it.
Come on later today/tonight – depending where you are – for Dr. Diz’s College Football Report!