We Want The Cup

SUDBURY, ON – Now that baseball season is over, we can focus our attentions on the sport of (LA) Kings: Ice hockey. The top dogs in the NHL are currently in the midst of their second work stoppage in 8 years and the third in two decades. Many NHLers have flown the coup to Europe, to stay sharp while locked out. Everyone is hopeful for a resolution to the “labor” dispute. But after some promising developments earlier this week, it seems that we’re back to square one. Yesterday’s meeting between the belligerent parties ended after less than an hour with no progress made.

As some of you know, the NHL does not own the Stanley Cup. Lord Stanley donated the cup to be awarded yearly to the best team in the land. Nowadays the trustees in charge of the Cup have a deal with the NHL to award the Cup to the NHL Champions. But there is nothing saying that the Cup can’t be awarded to a non-NHL team should the NHL not crown a champion. With a full NHL season looking less and less likely and even a partial season looking questionable, I thought I’d go over some possible destinations for Lord Stanley’s Cup in June.

Charlestown Chiefs: I think the Chiefs have a great shot at winning the Cup this year. Reggie Dunlop may be past his prime, but he’s still got some good shifts left in his legs. With the addition of the hard-nosed Hanson brothers to the squad, the Chiefs may have just what it takes to hoist the Cup come June.

Mystery, Alaska: This team of pond hockey veterans from the sleepy Alaskan town of Mystery knows how to perform under pressure. They gave the New York Rangers a run for their money on the outdoor ice. Maybe they are worthy of the Cup.

The Mighty Ducks: I’m not talking about the Anaheim professionals, here. These Ducks play in Minneapolis. The lads from District 5 showed heart and guts in beating the Hawks for the state Pee Wee title and may have the mettle to win Lord Stanley’s gift to the world. That’s if the kids are physically capable of lifting the Cup.

Doug The Thug knows his way around the penalty box.

Halifax Highlanders: The Highlanders really gooned up their squad with the addition of enforcer, Doug “The Thug” Glatt. Glatt may not be very quick on his skates or sharp on the puck but he’s been touched by the Fist of God and will beat just about anyone in a fight. Just ask Ross “The Boss” Rhea. Glatt was brought into the Highlanders’ squad to protect the flashy Frenchie, Xavier LaFlamme. It looks like LaFlamme is back to his scoring ways. That is, when he’s not out in the parking lot giving some single mother herpes. Add in their divorced captain, Gord Ogilvey and the Highlanders should be considered serious contenders for the cup, but we’ll see what Ross Rhea and the St. Johns Shamrocks have to say about  all of this.

If the NHL doesn’t get their sh*t together, these teams should be considered the serious contenders for the Stanley Cup. But you can never count out Dean Youngblood and the Hamilton Mustangs. They’re definitely the dark horse in this race. Enjoy the weekend.

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About Different Matt 269 Articles
Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.