Covid City, USA: April 7th already? This month is flying by. I fired my one bullet last week with the NFL draft and I’m running on fumes. The other night I watched the US Women’s soccer team play Brazil a few years ago. The US came back from a 3-1 lead with 3 goals in 9 minutes late and won it on a goal by Zack Ertz’s wife. I figured the US won the game in dramatic fashion since ESPN was showing it, but I still felt joy when they did. Man, do I miss sports. Anyway, I have some ideas to incorporate some of the quarantine concepts into sports when they do come back.
Social Distancing
In baseball, let’s bring back the neighborhood play. Hell, let’s expand it. If the middle infielder can spit to second base when he has the ball, we’ll call it an out.
In the NBA, force all teams to watch the last decade of Knicks’ basketball and insist they play defense like that.
Shelter in Place
Something James Dolan should do for the rest of his life, virus or no virus. Let’s make a pact not to tell him when it’s over.
Quarantine
Let’s change the name of the penalty box to the quarantine. “Brendan Lemiuex is quarantined for five minutes for roughing.”
Super Spreader
Rudy Goebert’s nickname? The name of the Jets new offense once they draft Jerry Jeudy.
Contact-less Delivery
Something Clayton Kershaw, Aroldis Chapman, and other pitchers facing the Astros will have a much better shot at this season. If there is one.
Flatten the Curve
It’s hard to picture too many pitchers keeping their arms in shape through this mess. After packing on the Covid 15 (lbs), we might see a lot of flattened, no break curves in a shortened season.
Final Thoughts
When we’re looking back at this someday, I’ll remember the Tiger King, the memes of the big guy with the monstrous schlong, and my awesome Spotify Quarantine mix featuring Don’t Stand So Close to Me, Patience, Lonely Boy, Miss You, Devil’s Haircut, I Drink Alone, and Waiting in Vain.
Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, who needs no quarantine to drink alone. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
