MOSCOW, RUSSIA – TGIF has never meant more to yours truly than it does today! I could swap in an expletive in that acronym and you wouldn’t know it. In fact, I have. That’s the beauty of acronyms. As of two seconds ago, each word represented by TGIF, now has some dirty word attached to it. That makes you complicit for reading, you foul-minded potty-mouth! With that, let’s forgo any attempts at a segue and get to today’s topics: Shohei Ohtani Crash, Polarizing Polar Bear? The Best Sports Show Out There
Shohei Ohtani Crash
You might see the word “Crash” in the headline and immediately conflate the stories of the Yevgeniy Prigozhin plane “crash” that took place 28,000 feet above Moscow, with the Angels pitcher/slugger. Granted, both have the question of being around Angels, but the stories are unrelated. And to clarify, the “crash” didn’t take place at 28k. Technically speaking, the plane lost a wing in an explosion at that height and then came spiraling down. That made the “crash” part official. It also made the last moments of life terrifying for those on board, assuming the explosion didn’t kill them first. The plane crashing metaphor applies here, though, as Ohtani’s reps and agents must feel like they are spiraling down and about to see bundles of money go up in ashes. That’s what those danged UCL tears will do. Tears for tears. You can read that either way, FYI. Kind of like the “you say tomato, I say…” ditty. But nobody is singing out in Anaheim today… with maybe the exception of Los Angeles Angels of Orange County’s Anaheim owner, Arte Moreno. His tears, if he’s capable of any, are likely those of joy. Rumor has it he’s hoping Mike Trout needs some surgery too, to collect the insurance. So much for the those Rally Monkey halcyon days.
Anyway, what a difference a day made for the best player in baseball history. A potential $1 billion dollar difference. As a Mets fan wary of tricky elbows and high salaries, this almost comes as good news. Maybe this pitching thing, which you knew wouldn’t last, can finally be put to rest. Maybe he can simply be the greatest RF/DH in the history of the game. And that would come at half the price. That’s money I’d be okay with Uncle Steve Cohen throwing at true superstar. But I’d lock up a slugging first baseman, first…
Now that makes for a proper segue!
Polarizing Polar Bear?
All this horseh!t about culture issues in the Mets clubhouse needs to stop. Any questions of Polar Bear Pete Alonso being at the center of it also need to be squashed. Alonso is young. He’s a bit goofy. He’d be called Daffy or Dizzy in a different era. He’s also Paul Bunyan at the plate. He’s a Gas House Gorilla. Most importantly, he’s a home-grown fan favorite. This isn’t a baseball version of #Linsanity, folks. Sign the guy. In the NY Post, Jon “Hey, Man!” Heyman suggests 5 years at $175,000,000.oo. That’s $35,000,000.00 per. Jesus H. Alou that’s A LOT OF MONEY, but Hey, Man, that could be a steal six years from now, the way salaries are spiraling upward. Keep Pete. He’s a teddy bear on camera, fun to watch and can hit the ball a country mile. If the players don’t all love each other in the clubhouse, too bad. They can afford to buy some new friends with the insane amounts of money they are getting to hit .240 with a ton of strikeouts when runners are in scoring position.
The Best Sports Show Out There
Here it is. End of story.
That’s it for today, please feel free to comment below.
