Matt McCarthy
Meeting Seaver: My Tom Seaver Story
NEW YORK, NY – Having worked in the film business in all capacities for three decades, meeting and working with stars is not a big deal. Bono, Shaq, Mick Jagger, Kevin Costner, Denzell Washington, Mel Gibson, Madonna, Rod Stewart, Robert Redford, Bill Murray, Jerry Seinfeld, Keith Hernandez, Eric Lindross, Pete Rose, Howie Long, Lawrence Taylor, […]
Dellin Betances Paid Off By Stanks? Improbable Isles, Staff Boycott
NEW YORK, NY – In a tipsy-topsy, crazy and wacky world… Wait, what’s that? This is a sports column and not a movie trailer, you say? Oh, I beg to differ, as the subplots exploding at every turn here in Mattville could be fodder for a film franchise rivaling the numbers of those in the […]
Surreal Subway Series, St Louis Perfectos, Cleveland Spiders, Dom Smith for President
NEW YORK, NY – Pigs are flying. Snowballs are now the official ball of choice in Hell. Dom Smith is a national treasure. The St. Louis Pefectos are in the headlines for the first in forever… or at least 121 years. Great Caesar’s Ghost, isn’t it Amazin’ how some great or astonishing feat in sports […]
Monday Sports Spectacular: Nets Burst Knicks Bubble, Gyms Open, Hawkeyes Blurred By Covid?
PISCATAWAY, NJ – While the town of Piscataway may be in the bowels of the Garden State, it’s still significant in NBA history. The reason why is just part of today’s Monday Sports Spectacular (sweeps week title). The other components meant to grab you by shirt collar and smack some excitement into your day are: Gyms […]
Zack Britton, Islanders, Phillie Phanatic, Sevilla & Chloe McCardel
“When I signed here, it was to win and not feel like I need to be tied to a specific role. If closing is something I want to do in the future, I do like it, but I like winning more.” –Zack Britton NEW YORK, NY – If you’re like me (hopefully you’re not), you […]
Vlade Divac, Agent Orange[men], Andrew McCutcheon
NEW YORK, NY – After watching the Mets phumble away another win, despite a 9th inning rally and losing Jacob deGrom two hours prior to first pitch, yours humbly exhaled, cursed the Wilpons and focused on the task at hand: to provide you with some kind of entertaining reprieve in the sports realm. Thankfully, Aaron […]
Jonathan Isaac, Slim Sabathia, MLB Alternate Programming
COVID BUBBLE, FL – The out-of-whack continues to permeate the air of Zombie Apocalypse Earth. Before the asteroid hits, let’s get to today’s topics: Jonathan Isaac, Slim Sabathia, MLB Alternate Programming Jonathan Isaac stood for The National Anthem. That is now a gasp-inducing headline in our topsy-turvy world. For those of you living in a […]
Replacement Fans, Replacement Players? Doesn’t Matter. MLB, NBA, LeBron, Giancarlo, Jake Are Back
WASHINGTON, DC – With Replacement Matt forgetting his replacement duties today, the term “replacement” is on my mind. But despite that and despite concerns that an imposter took over POTUS Trump’s body during a kinder & gentler press conference that should have us prepared for a proverbial pie in the face, we finally have live […]
A Bard For The Yips, Harden’s Blue Mask, NL’s Best Team
NEW YORK, NY – It’s hot here in Hell’s Kitchen and it’s only going to get hotter tomorrow. You can see that wave of heat off the black top on Tenth Avenue – there ain’t no Freeze-Out, Boss. Anyway, it’s now the middle of summer and finally, at long last, we will have some Major […]
Covid-19 ERAs, Sasquatch Sports Stars, Lord Stanley’s Islanders
Our thoughts are with Trevor, aka Dude & Replacement Matt, who underwent surgery for a brain tumor yesterday. PRATTSVILLE, NY – September 11th and 12th will forever mark a brace of anniversaries of the utmost importance for your humbly. The former represents a tragically sad day in USA history; one in which families were forever […]
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