ANALytically Speaking on the Yankees Behalf

BRONX, NY – Yankee fans should have plenty of excitement coming up during the off-season. The owner of the team, whoever it is, has decided to hire an outside consulting firm to ANALyze the ANALytics Department. How ANAL is that? It gets even funnier as the messenger, whose title, The Manager, seems okay with all this. He’s obviously blind to the realization that the outside firm will most likely suggest that The Manager has got to go.

The so-called owner needs to unplug whatever is up his ANAL cavity and let it out. The guy you rely on, who’s your General Manager, has shot his load. The Gio Ursela trade, which brought over a 50 million dollar contract in the form of Josh Donaldson, was the last straw. The first place Minnesota Twins are still laughing at how they pulled the wool over the Yankees eyes.

Aristostle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis

Hiring an outside source is a slap in the face to the three guys that they employ. I’m talking about Brian Sabean, Omar Minaya, and Jim Hendry. It’s time for the current Steinbrenner to utilize what he already has: experienced baseball men. He needs to turn a deaf ear to the weasels that pull his strings and listen to his own comments about hiring outside sources to re-evaluate his team. Maybe then he’ll realize how ridiculous he sounds and come to the conclusion of how much money he’ll save by squashing that ANAL idea.

With that saved money, maybe just maybe, he can announce that there will be no ticket increase for 2024. If he can add an extra set of balls to his ANAL approach on running this historic franchise, maybe he can put his fist through his General Managers head, just like his dad once claimed he did to a Dodgers fan inside an elevator during the 1981 World Series.

Feel free to comment on whatever floats your boat below.

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About Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis 123 Articles
Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis is the junkiest of baseball junkies. He plays in 4 leagues, well past his 40th birthday, and spends the winter in Florida shagging flies at Yankees minor league complexes. He's also a retired Riker's Island Corrrection Officer - having worked the night shift for 20+ years.