Augustus Ward Saturday: Reject Rodgers, Warriors Host Knicks, and Lasso’s Back

MTM Management
Mismanagement by MTM clowns at HQ!

BRONX, NY – Friends, Sports Fans, Meet-the-Mattsians, lend me your ears. The Ides of March are upon us, and I cannot abide a Saturday with no column posted. For those of you out there who aren’t history buffs, March 15th is the day Julius Caesar was killed in a hail of gunfire outside Sparks Steakhouse in midtown Rome. At least that’s what Junior Blaber told me. Eh, let’s talk some sports.

Just Say “No” to Aaron Rodgers. Just when I thought I didn’t really give a crap about professional sports anymore, a bunch of people floated the idea that the Minnesota Vikings might be a good landing spot for washed-up mystic, and sometime quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. Now, I know full-well how this all works. I’m sure Rodgers’ camp is where these whispers are coming from, but I simply can’t ignore them like Chuck Schumer or some other worthless POS. So I wrote a terse email to the Vikings yesterday politely asking them to ignore this jacka$$ altogether. I know the Vikes’ front office doesn’t give a rats a$$ about my opinion, but I had to say something, and will sleep better knowing that I did.

Knicks vs. Warriors Tonight. If you follow the NBA’s Western Conference at all, you know, outside of OKC, pretty much every game is a must-win game for all the teams jockeying for position. My Golden State Warriors have been on fire since acquiring Jimmy Butler, and still they aren’t making tons of headway. In a nutshell, everyone out West is winning, and so they all need to KEEP winning to keep up. So, with that in mind, I’ll probably be watching tonight’s game against the Knickerbockers. Hope the Warriors come out to play-ay.

Ted Lasso is Back. For those of you mourning the loss of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis will be back reprising his role as everyone’s favorite homespun fish-out-of-water soccer coach. This time around he’ll be coaching a women’s team. TL is a feel-good show, and we need all of those we can get so, bring it on.

Okay, that’s all for me today. Hopefully Jake Sternberg will be in this space tomorrow. I enjoy reading his stuff, as well as his bro Jackson’s. Have a great weekend!

Share Button
About Angry Ward 789 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.