MONK’S COFFEE SHOP, UWS – I give up. I can’t fight it any longer. It’s true… Bizarro World is a real thing. And I’m not just talkin’ Bizarro Jerry, where Seinfeld showed compassion and consideration for others. Or a world where George Costanza dated models by doing the complete opposite of every instinct he’d ever had about anything. No, I’m talking about a complete and utter bizarro universe, where things are happening that just make no sense at all. The world is spinning on its side and anarchy and its sons have inherited the earth… But why am I so convinced of this?
Ned Yost pulled one of the dumbest moves an MLB manager can make when he lifted his ace, James Shields from the WIld Card playoff game against the Oakland A’s two weeks ago. Shields wasn’t tired, was rolling through Oakland’s lineup and as the Kansas City Royals’ best and most experienced pitcher, represented the best shot KC had to advance to the NLDS. 
Hell, he’s known as “Big Game James” for cryin’ out loud! Sure enough, Yost’s stupidity was confirmed when the Royals immediately squandered the lead and allowed Oakland back in the game. Yost is a moron, and his team won as many games as they did this season in spite of him – not because of him. Sure enough, it is the Royals who are 2014’s team of destiny.
In spite of Yost’s best efforts to screw things up, KC is back in the World Series for the first time since Back to the Future was released; since Ronald Reagan was President; since Rock Hudson was alive, and since the New York Islanders were still close to their perch above the NHL. Speaking of which…
Those Islanders have held up their end of the Bizarro-verse by starting the ’14-’15 season 3-0 including a smack down on Tuesday this week of the Rangers that included a 3rd period decimation of the Stanley Cup finalists 27 miles to their west. It’s been 13 years since the Isles began a season in such fashion.
The oft-mentioned, and even more oft-maligned Dallas Cowboys mauled and bullied the defending Super Bowl Champion Seahawks around like rag dolls last weekend. When the mighty ‘Boys of the 90s started to win big, it was because of their massive offensive line loaded with hall of fame caliber lineman dominating the trenches. It all starts with the O-Line and as a Cowboy hater/resenter, it does worry me that their OL looks downright dominant right now.
And look no further than the joke of an O-Line the Giants trotted out against the Eagles last Sunday night. In a performance reminiscent of the week 3 massacre in Charlotte last season, the G-Men saw their linemen running around defenseless, and clueless against a fairly uninspiring Philly front four. Justin Pugh stunk. John Jerry played like Jonathan Martin‘s sister-about whom John spoke last year in Miami. Will Beatty, the worst professional football player on earth in 2013, saw nothing but red(s) and didn’t even get to come home to Annette Bening after Sunday’s debacle. And the beloved, iconic salsa dancing rags to riches story that is Victor Cruz is no more. That one hurt, but was right on script with Bizarro world.
As are the nearly inexplicable places in the college football polls currently occupied by the Kings of the Delta, the Princes of Mississippi. Otherwise known as Mississippi State and the University of Mississippi-known around the South as both “Ole Miss” and as Eli Manning‘s alma mater. The Bulldogs of Miss State, led by Heisman candidate QB Dak Prescott are the number one team in the land right now in the latest AP college football poll. In-state rival Ole Miss is number 3. The State of Mississippi hasn’t seen this much success since Elvis was born in Tupelo in 1935 and root beer was invented there in 1898.
Need more proof that we are living in Bizarro World? Well, Brian Cashman who hasn’t produced a playoff team since 2012 in spite of unlimited resources, was rewarded with a new 3 year contract. Dallas running back Joseph Randle – he of the $600K annual salary as an NFL player – was arrested for shoplifting some axe body spray and some tighty whiteys. Take pity on young Mr. Randle, though.
The world is bizarre. And It’s making folks do some really weird stuff right now.
Come back tomorrow for Different Matt.
