CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY FOR TIME WARP TONY

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HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE, EVERYBODY!

NEW YORK, NY – Yesterday, MTM eccentric, Time Warp Tony, responded to a comment by the erstwhile philview re our collective survival of The Blizzard Of ’09. T-Dubya T thought philview was referring to TWT’s at-the-time current year and the year 1909, which is understandable because… He is in a time warp. Anyway, it’s Christmas Come Early for Time Warp Tony, as we recapped the significant happenings in 1909, so he doesn’t feel so old. Here they are, avec nos deux cents (with our two cents) thrown in:

  • Jan 16th – British explorer Ernest Shackleton finds magnetic south pole. (His watch, fillings and belt are still there).
  • >Feb 16th – 1st subway car with side doors goes into service in NYC. (It’s still be used as an R Train)
  • Feb 18th – Boston Red Sox trade Cy Young, at 41, to Cleveland Naps (Nap GM Rip Van Winkle didn’t got Cy Old)
  • Mar 3rdStanley Cup: Ottawa Senators beat Montreal Wanderers, 8-3 (Somehow, we envision Ancient Rome, Moses and lost Jews instead of hockey)
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  • Mar 30th – Queensboro Bridge opens, linking Manhattan & Queens (The first Guido Sighting was made later that night on Park Avenue South)
  • Mar 31st – Baseball rules players who jump contracts are suspended for 5 years (They also were tarred, feathered, and drawn & quartered)
  • Apr 15th – NY Giant Red Ames 2nd no-hitter, loses in 13 on a 7 hitter to Dodgers (The Matts-Matics didn’t add up. We checked. His no-no was credited for 9 innings)
  • Apr 18thJoan of Arc declared a saint and is beatified in Rome. (She also had her nails done)
  • Apr 19th – 13th Boston Marathon won by Henri Renaud of NH in 2:53:36.8 (The bigger story is the French taking over New Hampshire)
  • May 2ndHonus Wagner steals his way around bases in 1st inning against Cubs (Mike Piazza was catching)
  • May 19thJack Johnson fights Jack O’Brien to no decision in 6 for boxing title (Huh? Did they both collapse?)
  • May 29th – Frank “Home Run” Baker’s 1st career home run (Omar Minaya I, the grandfather of the current Met GM, promptly traded him for Sidecar Willie Tolan – ( a fictitious player)
  • Jun 2nd – 43rd Belmont: Eddie Dugan aboard Joe Madden wins in 2:21.6 with Sam’s-A-Fan’s grandpa cheering wildly! (In 1910 they started using horses)
  • Jun 24th – 15th US Golf Open: George Sargent shoots a 290 at Englewood GC NJ (That night, he shot a .44 magnum and killed his wife. Look it up)
  • Jun 16th Jim Thorpe makes his pro baseball pitching debut for Rocky Mount (ECL) with 4-2 win, this will cause him to forfeit his Olympic medals (That’s not cool! But the Olympic water polo team is!)
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  • Jul 15thTy Cobb hits 2 inside-the-park HRs. (The outfield of Murphy, Pagan & Sheffield are visibly shaken)
  • Jul 19th – Cleveland shortstop Neal Ball executes an unassisted triple play (Neal.. Ball… Play… There’s a joke in there)
  • Jul 24th – Brooklyn Dodger Nap Rucker strikes out 16 Pitts Pirates (Nap put them to sleep)
  • Oct 2nd – 1st rugby match (Twickenham) (Time Warp Tony was there drinking Toohey’s New)
  • Nov 13thBen Simpson of Hamilton Tigers kicks 9 singles in a game
    (That Simpson was some show-off; not even using a bat!!!)
  • Nov 18th – US invades Nicaragua, later overthrows Pres Zelaya (Didn’t we just do this for the 10th time two years ago?)
  • Dec 4th – 1st CFL Grey Cup: University of Toronto defeats Toronto Parkdale, 26-6 (They’ve been employing bad players ever since)
  • Dec 11th – Canadian Football exhibition game played in Van Cortlandt Park in Bronx, Hamilton Tigers beat Ottawa Rough Riders, 11-6 before 15,000 (People thought they were going to Ringling Bros)
  • Dec 17thLeopold II, king of Belgium, buried in Brussels (He was alive!!!)
  • To those of you that celbrate: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

    P.s…. What does “erstwhile” mean?

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    We miss you, Anna Benson.

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