BYRON BAY, AUSTRALIA â€“ When the news of the preposterous yet history-making loss by the New York Metropolitans – the snake bitten baseball club in Flushing , NY – finally reached us here in sun-soaked beachcomber haven Byron Bay, we couldnâ€™t help but laugh out loudâ€¦ Repeatedly. An unassisted triple play. Come on, now. Really. Enough is enough. Thatâ€™s just silly. It doesnâ€™t happen. It certainly doesnâ€™t happen to a major league team that has had EVERY BAD BREAK ranging from unlucky to farcical over this yet-to-be-completed season. That only happens in the movies or on Bugs Bunny. And thatâ€™s when it finally dawned on us â€“ the Mets are a gosh dang cartoon.
Theyâ€™ve got the cartoon names – Omar & Ollie, Jerry & Frankie, Wags & Sheff – to go with their cartoon lineup and their carton play. Itâ€™s been there all along and we refused to accept it. Admit it, Met fans, youâ€™ve all been guilty of the following kind of statement untilâ€¦ Oh, sayâ€¦ LAST WEEK:
- â€œHey Mad Dog, they are still only 9 games out of the Wild Card. If they can get Reyes back and Beltran can suck it up, thereâ€™s still time. Mike sucks without you… Baba Boohey!â€
Anyway, our epiphany most likely came about because we are now so distant from this calamity/tragic comedy, in a land thatâ€™s both mystical and cartoon like, mixing with characters like Crocodile Dundee and creatures like the platypus – which Robin Williams claimed proves God takes – that Jon Niese could finally see his nose despite his faceâ€¦ Or something like that.
All is not lost, however. We do have a solution; one formed after 2-3 Tooheyâ€™s New Ales. Here goes:
Of course, Men At Work will have to play over the sound system to drown out the pummeling. Or maybe itâ€™s Tina Turner,â€œWe donâ€™t need another heroâ€¦
Angry Ward tomorrowâ€¦