By Rex O’Rourke

CANTON, OHIO – I know he’s been making hitters look silly since Coolio was last relevant, but did Sports Illustrated have to put Mariano Rivera on the cover THIS WEEK!?

Did you catch the T.O. presser where he refused to complain about Trent Edwards? It was almost as tense as the ones where he rips his QBs to shreds. I thought he was going to cry. When will he blow a gasket; week 6, week 7?

Hockey season is upon us and my Islanders will be spending one of their last few seasons on Long Island before moving to Kansas City or Cincinnati or Ontario. The County Legislature, and The Town of Hempstead have the fate of the Isles and Charles Wang’s Lighthouse Project (not to be confused with Pete Townshend’s Lifehouse Project) in their hands. The Tavares kid scored a goal last night in the opener (a loss of course) so at least he’s off to a good start. The only question is; where does the franchise end up?

How great is your former Mutt Ron Gardenhire? The Twinkies are still fighting down to the last day with Morneau out for the season and Carl Pavano, he of “Memorial MRI Tube” fame, on the hill. How does he do it? Jerry Manuel should be forced to spend a month with him in the off-season.

The new funniest show on television is Modern Family on ABC, Wednesdays at Nine. Ed “Al Bundy” O’Neill and cast are hilarious. I’ve seen both episodes and read a couple of reviews of the show and the critics love it, which begs the question, when will it be cancelled?

So what do you think the ratings for Monday Night Football will be like this week?

How bad do The Yuckaneers have to be to be getting seven points from The Redskins, last seen losing to Detroit?

The curse of the Super Bowl loser is alive and well in Arizona. Will they make the playoffs?

Having just had a high level meeting with The Matts, they are convinced The Yankees will be swept in the first round. Sour grapes anyone?

As many of you out in MTM land already know, Tim McCarver has a CD of standards out. I was hoping it was “Shatneresque” but word on the street is, he can actually sing. How many copies do you think he’s sold?

This week selections are truly locks. I’m 8-1 and really feelin’ it! First off, I rarely pick The Giants because I like to bet with my head, not my heart, but they beat The Bucs on the road by 24 so they should be able to handle The CHIEFS (+8.5) as well. Love The SAINTS (-7) over The Jets. Mark Sanchez will make a couple of rookie mistakes… finally. Call me crazy, but I think Da Hoodie and his PATS (-2) will cover against a very good Ravens squad.

Until next week,

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