by Missy-Jill Dixie & Ed Diz

(Missy and Ed happened to be at a biz conference together – no hanky-panky was involved. Allegedly.)

SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS – We were reading the USA Today – with its Pulitzer Prize-winning Weather Section – because it’s the only paper that this cheapo hotel we were in had. The good thing about this rag is that it takes folks like us only about 3 1/2 minutes to read; cover to cover. It has really neat graphs and charts on stuff like “number of people who pick their nose while driving” and other such tidbits. Here’s one of our faves:

Okay, so J.J. wasn’t driving but we talked about putting it in and well, females can be persuasive. Anyway, every now and then the USA Today surprises with an article of actual interest! They reported that the NFL (No Fun League) is trying to crack down on tailgating and limit such activities to only 3 1/2 hours before each game. This is from a league that counts beer companies as a major sponsors.

Can you say “hypocrite?” Sure you can.

The league said it is responding to some fans who have complained that the sight of drunken people in the parking lots and surrounding areas did not make for a family atmosphere. And we’re not fighting them (we’d get tossed real quick for that), but facts show that incidents of public drunkenness are no more or less than in years past. Not cussin’ the cops is tough, though, because the party is the only reason to attend a lot of pro football games – just ask the blue collar fans in Cleveland, Buffalo, Kansas City, Oakland, etc. But hold on, we are not saying drinking and driving is cool. It does, however, make for some fun videos:

Give Us A Break! This constant sanitizing of EVERYTHING is always justified as “FOR THE KIDS” or to make a venue “FAMILY FRIENDLY”. We remember going to games with our respective dads when the stadiums were full of chain-smoking, free-speaking, beer-drinking folk. We bet that some of you do, too. We all turned out okay (we hope). So maybe it’s not always good trying to make everything squeaky clean for the kiddies. Hey, life is what it is. When Dad pointed out what an idiot some ja-bloke who had too much to drink was, it left a better impression than not seeing it at all. And don’t adults get to enjoy themselves as adults – even if it does not meet everyone’s criteria of nice or family friendly? Hey, this is a league that has cheerleaders who dress, look and act like pole dancers. So how does it follow that they are worried about a few drunks in the parking lot?

Compare this to NCAA football. Texas A&M superstock_1557r-181101.jpg kicks off their activities for a home game the NIGHT BEFORE at so-called yell practice. People were out for the 6pm TCU vs Utah game at 8 AM in the morning. The annual Georgia vs. Florida game advertises itself as the world’s largest cocktail party. And these are college games, where 80% of the party-goers are under the legal age. Curious.

Other sports? Having brews at a baseball game is a time-honored tradition. Rugby, Tennis, Golf and Skiing all have plenty of booze and plenty of kids. And Horse Racing actually allows you to take a cooler of it inside with you.

The real problem is that the NFL has gone stuffy. It’s too corporate. It’s like revenge of the nerds; guys who couldn’t get an invite to the kegger in school somehow got into power and are determined to make everybody’s life as miserable and boring as theirs. And putting the crimps on your tailgating is just part of it. The NFL wants all of their games to be just one big sales meeting; an extension of their corporate overseers.

It’s enough to drive ya’ to drink… Whoops!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO: Our peeps at NVL Blog, Fort Worth RFC, Buffalo RFC, Pittsburgh Harlequins RFC, NYRFC, the boys at East Side Tavern and Five C’s in T-town, Terry at Fred’s in Cowtown, the gang at The Mule in Cowtown and to all the readers and bloggers on Have a great holiday with your loved ones, and let’s all hope the annoying in-laws stay occupied with the kids.

FINALLY, here are Ed Diz’s College Picks:
Auburn +11.5 over Alabammie in an upset.
Stanford -8 beats the not so happy go lucky Irish but do not cover.
Florida State +23 gets close to Florida, but no cigar.
UConn -12.5 crushes Syracuse.
Pitt -2 over WVA in the backyard brawl.
Texas -22.5 crushes Texas A&M, as the Aggie downward spiral continues.
Oklahoma (pick em) beats Okie State in the Bedlam Bowl.
Utah +7 over BYU in the holy war.
As a Turkey Week Treat and in honor of the Naugatuck Valley League (one the nation’s oldest continuous leagues in which T-Day football dates to the 1920s), here are
Ed Diz’s High School Picks:
Wolcott Eagles over the Holy Cross Crusaders (1972) for the NVL title as both go on to the states.
Ansonia Chargers over the Naugatuck Greyhounds (1900) as Ansonia also goes to the states.
Torrington Red Raiders upset the Watertown Indians (1965) in the politically incorrect name bowl.
Wilby Wildcats over Sacred Heart (1946).
Crosby Bulldogs over the Kennedy Eagles (1961)
Derby over Shelton (1922)
Woodland over Seymore (2001).

Angry Ward, tommorrow.

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About Dr. Diz 50 Articles
Doc Diz resides in Fort Worth, Texas for the past 15 years. When not playing old boys rugby or skiing, he is known for sampling Maker's Mark for its medicinal qualities. A native of Connecticut, the Doc has managed to move around enough to have lived in all four US time zones, which has allowed him to get a little perspective from west of the Hudson where guns, drilling for oil and gas and Big Gulp soda pops are still legal.