While you're down there...

NEW YORK, NY – Hi there kiddies.  Seems like The Matts paid the website mongos and we’re back up and running. Naturally, the site went dead after my LAST post nearly two weeks ago, and has been reliably resurrected just in time for my post THIS week. Got me to thinkin’ about the fact that there’s a lot of DEAD stuff around lately.  It’s time to clear the air.

Nautica’s NYC Triathlon is set to kick of on Sunday, August 7th in Manhattan.  First leg is the mile-long Hudson River swim. Unfortunately, in the heat wave of last week, the waste transfer station went down, spewing kagillions of gallons of raw sewage into the Hudson. Rumor is, approximately half of this may be from the Angry Ward/Grote2DMax/Public ProfessorAnnual Baseball & Booze Weekend.  NYC Tri is working with the DEP to determine if the swim will go off or if it’s too sh!tty and the event goes to crap as a dos-althlon.

Amy Winehouse is finally dead.  Anyone have her in their deathpool? No? You know they tried to make her go to rehab and she said ‘No. No. No.‘  A lesson for all you kids…drugs, bad hair and makeup don’t pay. Lady Gaga, I’m lookin’ at YOU!

Keeping you politically informed, the debt vote has been delayed in The House.  Next up? Dead in the water.

Damien meets Beezelbub.

In keeping with Lori Levine’s NFL Soap Opera drama… seems like the season can’t be dead…because look at how ALIVE this off-season trading is this week. Ochocinco now goes to join Cheatin’ Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the Pat-sie Boys.  Draaaa-ma.

Sadly, the continuous joke of ‘Hideki I-RAB-U(‘I ROB YOU‘)  is dead. The 42-two-year-old pitcher hung himself in a California home. Seems the Fat Toad has croaked.  RIP.

Next, from the world of advertising, the people at Summer’s Eve (where the frick is Brooksie with her feminine hygiene product know-how when you need her?) have KILLED a bunch of new TV ads for their product. Millions of women’s ‘vertical smiles’ will need to get their advice elsewhere. Hail to the V. Dead.

As for me, I’m rolling over and playing dead for the weekend. A whole lotta nada around here…
Just the way I like it.

Favorite dead man walking, The Public Professor, is up from his dirt nap tomorrow.

Share Button
About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.