Billie Jean's not his girl.

NEW YORK – We’re at the end of baseball season for most teams, not all – right Different Matt? Yankee Joe? West Coast Craig? – and like Momma Cookie always said, “With every ending, starts a new beginning.” That got me thinking about the season I personally finished – my second triathlon season. For you couch potatoes, that’s a mile swim, 25-mile bike, and 10k/6.2 mile run. Like my Yankees,  I extended my season with a post-season bike race & half marathon.

Last week’s Tour de Greenwich,  a mostly male field and a crushing female field in my age group was hilly course with one stiff climb aptly named Burying Hill. Event pics yielded at this spot had participants looked like they were having an endoscopy…sans funny gas.  As I looked at my horrible race pic, I realized it was a sequence of pics capturing the moment when I came to the top, caught and passed a guy who I abused in this way for the whole race. The only time he passed me was when he was… going down. There. Have a field day Yankee Joe.

Anyway, while I’ve beaten my fair share of dudes – in a sporting way, not in a dominatrix type way; that costs extra fellas – it led me to thinking about this notion guys getting beaten by girls and what the term for that was. I came up with one, not exactly the most optimal but for purposes here,  getting chicked works fine.  So, this week, we’ll take a looksie at three sporting examples of getting chicked.

Billy Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs might perhaps be the chicked sporting standard for all chicking. Boasty tennis player Riggs was all fired up to show how superior men were to women in sport. Riggs challenged tennis hot shot, Billie Jean King saying, “I want Billie Jean King. . . . I want the women’s lib leader!” Riggs boasted loudly that even the much younger Billie Jean King, at age twenty-nine, was no match for him, by mere virtue of his manhood.  And even for a gal like me who doesn’t like tennis (except for Patrick Rafter about fifteen years ago), we all know how that ended… Riggs.  Chicked.  Straight sets.

Atlanta Falcons Andre Rison had a somewhat fiery relationship with TLC’s Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes, setting fire to his tennis shoe (a ‘tennis shoe?’ really?) and thus, his entire mansion. Lopes claimed Rison physically abused her, provoking her to the arson. Seemed Left Eye chicked Rison in the Crazy Department.  Years later she died in a car crash.

Tawny Kitaen & Chuck Finley: OK… so there was no ‘sport’ involved other than domestic battery… but a pitcher can’t dodge a punch from a little, video vixen hood ornament?  Chicked.

Okay, I’m way over Concussed Matt’s (The Matt Formerly Known As Short) word count, so I’ll stop with the above trifecta. Please feel free to chime in with your own chicked moments and be sure to tune in tomorrow for a guy who often fantasizes about women on top, The Public Professor.

P.s… Can’t get any tee-times up here! The Mets and their executives have them all!

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About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.