POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – Baseball has been put to bed while the NFL season hits its mid-point and the NHL starts a more consistent schedule.”Something’s missing.” you say… Correct! The NBA hasn’t played game one yet, due to the squabbling of owners and players over ca$h. Personally, I don’t give a crap -I’ve got bigger problems caused by 13+ inches of snow befalling my neck of the woods. But this whole lockout thing does/did parallel certain real-life things for me. [Segue drum roll, please]… And here are some of them:
Trick-or-Treating took to the Danbury Mall since Halloween went dark like the NBA season. Minus the masks, the freak show that is the NBAwas rivaled by costumed children that waited on lines for candy the way Russians used to line up for a loaf of bread. The Eastern Europeans scattered around the league remember such times, but unprepared NBA players known for frivolous spending on women, cars and bling? They’ll soon on the 5-lb. American cheese line.
Vinnie “The Microwave” Johnson could cook things up in a hurry on offense and his namesake appliance nuked scrambled eggs, breakfast links, hot dogs and hot beverages, while hooked up to the 5500-watt generator – lucky to possess courtesy of my brother-in-law. The portable power station also kept the food in the fridge as cold as John Starks’ 2-for-18 shooting performance. Zing!
There’s always a spike in the population when the lights go out, so whoever leads the NBA in illegitimate births will be challenged around these parts. Shawn Kemp’s record may be in jeopardy. The numbers will reveal themselves after approximately 40-week gestation periods; about the same time it feels like it takes to endure the average NBA game.
Lack of internet service made for ZERO COMMENTS seen or contributed by yours truly on MTM (*with an upper case T, for the thousandth time!), but I was able to read the fine columns by the pinch-hitters – Minnie “Junoir” Minoso & Rusty “Diff” Staub – for the regulars on my hand-held device. As there is nary a column here on the NBA, I feel somewhat guilty in straying from the norm (Nixon ?) as the NBA truly mirrors the recent peculiar weather. Nobody misses the NBA more than this gentleman…
The kids were home from school for three days– kinda like the All-Star Break with February snow in October on the ground. This meant countless hours of Phineas and Ferb, (which I must say is enjoyable and geared for adult audiences), The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, and other kid’s sit-coms. No ESPN, no problem. I became a remote control hog once the kids hit the sack and watched as much hockey as possible.
Sunday is for the NFL and if you smart you’ll steer clear of these selections: Jets +1 ½
Denver + 7 ½ and Pats -8 ½ (this one won’t be pretty Giants fans)
West Coast Craig, tomorrow.
*MTM Edit Staff peeve/rant.