PLAYGROUND-NEAR-YOU, USA – Another two weeks PISSED away. Speaking of pissed… you all well know that I’ve been plenty angry about happenings the past few weeks in sports, which is still attributable to Angry Ward’s too-long vacation in Florida. And my childish foot-stomping and throwing-self-on-floor tantrums have me thinking about other things that are… Child’s Play.
Trampolines: They’re all the rage. They’re hours of outdoor fun for the kiddos. BIG, trampolines surrounded by netting, some four-five feet off your backyard turf. I don’t have one but I’ll let my kid join in at a friend’s house. While they bounce around outside, we stand inside the kitchen drinking wine and sporadically opening the door to scream at the boys: “KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!” This is something I surely won’t scream once the kid hits adolescence. But… TWO GROUPS that should be forbidden from jumping on trampolines: 1) Fat People, and 2) Pitchers. Obviously, FAT PITCHERS should not be bouncing around on them.. spring training or ANY time of the year. Joba Chamberlain; I’m lookin’ at YOU.
NCAA March Madness Brackets: Since I don’t know hoops (nor do I care to) and have only done this once -and WON – the only bracket I’ve taken a look at is President Obama’s. Apparently his North and East brackets are doing pretty well, while his West and Midwest brackets would’ve done better if his kids, Sasha and Melia picked them scribbling wildly with crayon. And what does one do with ones bracket, anytway? Likely have that little Chuckie from the movie Child’s Play feast on that piece of GARBAGE. Side note: March Madness ends in APRIL?! Can someone get these colleges to learn how to read a CALENDAR?!
Cookie’s (Athletic) Calendar: Because this calendar – I KNOW you care about. Cookie here, is embarking on her third triathlon season, with five races slated (so far). But I’ve been sidelined with a hamstring injury (NOTE: Wine and performing a split in socks, on a hardwood floor, don’t mix) and have been in PT and cannot run for ninety-days. This is day forty… but who’s counting? Anyway, I’ve been nailing it on the bike and swim training. “I’m a strong swimmer,” and never been afraid of too much in the deep, but leave it to my Mini Cookie to make the following Lego masterpiece, which reminds me that there’s always things to fear out in the water.
Speaking of Obama & Scribbling: All this Republican hootenanny is sure going to make it like shooting fish in a barrel come November. But still, needing to top 2008’s Hope, Yes We Can, and Change messages, the Obama campaign decided it needed to go with a tougher angle. Luckily, Angry Ward’s offspring (Angry Toddler, soon to be Angry Young Lady) has come up with a perfect illustration to go on the new campaign flyer : OBAMA 2012: You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Angry
And with that, I’m outta here, lest I piss off the Short Matt that be for going over the word count. Make sure you play nice and have a great weekend kiddies. Come back tomorrow for someone who has child-like innocence like no other, The Public Professor.