Moldy Cheese + Arkansas Pigs = Happy Easter

Arkansas Pigs (Razorbacks): Girl, Girl & Coach, Girl & Fiancee, Girl, Smiling Coach

PIGSTOWN, ARKANSAS – Every Tuesday and Wednesday on MTM, we all get treated to the gripes and anger of Grote2DMax and Angry Ward, respectively. Not to step on these venerable contributors’ toes but I’ve got a few things in the sports world driving me crazier than normal.

Cheesy Bruin

Football: Surprise! A Tim Tebow related story? On Easter? No way! This guy really knows how to steal the spotlight—first from Mark Sanchez and now a guy who, legend has it, was crucified, buried, and rose again. Yup, Timmay will be holding court at a Texas church to proselytize for 20 minutes in front of 30,000 worshippers. The only thing TT has to do now is make a bold pre-game statement in the locker room with or without Kool-Aid and have his disciples hit the field and follow him to victory after victory leading to a Super Bowl trophy. At conclusion of these efforts Joe Namath is wiped off the map and forgotten as well. Making matters even less palatable was the jersey war between Reebok and athletic wear conglomerate Nike over the Jets’new “backup” QB’s #15. Reebok’s licensing agreement ran out last week but made all these Tebow jerseys to cash in late on the Tim-mania. Screw Nike, who has the current license and views this as infringement. Reebok beat the deadline. Let the courts sort it out. Go Reebok!

About uniforms: The Seattle Seahawks unveiled their new look this past week. The designers managed to frog up an already ugly uniform. It reminds me of barf with seagull sh!t on top. Then there’s the concept for the Oakland Raiders’ new helmet. Less silver and more black because everybody, just like a Kardashian, has to have black as the shield is eliminated with the focus on a larger pirate head on each side of the helmet. Can’t they just leave well enough alone?!?

Hockey: I’m certain I’ll catch crap off of this one but can I get an objective Rangers fan’s opinion on Henrik Lundqvist? A fantastic season and a world class goalie certainly but there are a dozen of these guys in the NHL as winning during money time has alluded many of them—King Henny included. Also, as a team the Rangers have to learn how to play and win and advance in the playoffs before me and Dennis Green “…crown their asses.” Nothing against the Blueshirts, I just think they might be a year away.

Police blotter: Sometimes what goes around comes around and for Arkansas football HC Bobby Petrino it came in the form of an oil slick. Only fitting this is the cause of his motorcycle wreck with a 25 year-old former woman’s volleyball bombshell, Jessica Dorrell, hugging his mid-section as a passenger. Petrino has a lot of explaining to do to the University, Mrs. Petrino, his 4 kids and Dorrell’s fiancee. Local police are asking questions of the officer in charge of Petrino bodyguard detail at home games who failed to report the incident. Bobby Petrino is, as they say at the NFL draft, on the clock.

Happy Easter and Happy PassoverWest Coast Craig, tomorrow.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.