All Hail The “Kings!”

Babe Ruth of Cereals

NEWARK, NJ – As the Los Angeles Kings look to put the finishing touches on the New Jersey Devils (and a recalcitrant Marty Brodeur, who has now forced a Game 6) and hoist the Stanley Cup as champions, I’ve conjured up some sports “Kings” as they’ve been called and make a comparison to a related peer of sorts for you to debate the winner.

King Vitaman and HR Kings
Take your pick of steroid user to adorn the sports version of this vintage cereal box cover.  The likeness of Bonds, McGwire or Sosa mock the side-panel nutritional chart with the same disrespect as their elimination of previous home run marks.
Whether it’s “The Sultan of Swat’s” 60 in 152 games or Maris’ 61 in 162 as season standards or “Hammerin’ Hank’s” 755 career total, forever they are the true historical Home Run Kings in my book.
Honorable mention: David Arthur Kingman was two 30 homer years from the 500 HR benchmark.  Would he have been voted into Cooperstown with a .240 career batting average?

Billie Jean's not my lover!

Billie Jean King and Eddie “The King Feigner” Feigner and His Court
Billie Jean can be considered the true King of Queens and not Kevin James‘ television sitcom character of the same name.  What makes her a King of Queens?  A great deal of court time as a four-time singles tennis champion and doubles play winner of the Queens-based U.S. Open and as the dominant half (King) in her lesbian (Queens) relationships.   The USTA named, in her honor, its Tennis Center for contributions on and off the tennis court.  Her brother, Randy Moffitt, a Giant mostly but no King, was a major league relief pitcher during the 70’s and 80’s.
With a catcher, first baseman, and shortstop, The King and his three-manned court toured the globe as the greatest pitcher in softball history leading his lieges to an unbelievable winning percentage against nine and ten member teams.  No-hitters, perfect games, and strikeouts of MLB Hall of Famers during their playing primes headline the list of this King’s accomplishments.

Jerry “The King Lawlor” and King Kong Bundy
Lost in the shuffle of a legendary grappling career is the well-publicized and staged feud between Lawler and actor-comedian Andy Kaufman.  Notwithstanding, Kaufman’s neck braces were “The King’s” countless championships from every imaginable wrestling establishment in North America and Japan.  A master of the belly to back suplex, the undersized Lawler set the standard and remains wrestling royalty today.
Bundy had his moments in the squared-circle and television as well.  The championships were as few as appearances on Married With Children.  Known more for his girth and unconventional wrestling attire than his ring efforts, his patented move, the Avalanche Splash, was no comparison to Lawler.

Lundqvist's Idol

King of the NY Streets, Dion DaMucci and Henrik Lundqvist, “King of the NY Crease”
“People called me the scandalizer, The world was my appetizer, I turned gangs into fertilizer.  I broke hearts like window panes, for breakfast I’d eat nails and chains, To my kingdom I’d proclaim.”  -Dion DaMucci (King of the NY Streets)
Lundqvist wins a Cup within three years if not next year but until then, Dion is King of the New York Streets.

King of MTM, West Coast Craig, tomorrow.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.