Hockey Movie: Goon Review

NEW YORK, NY – In a week featuring the destruction of a lawn mower (don’t ask), another storm-induced power outage, and yet more oral surgery, a return to normalcy meant finally viewing the Hockey Movie Goon. Thanks to Angry Ward, who sent it not long ago.

Anyway, Goon is a hockey movie and outside of the god-awful Slapshot remakes, qualifies as a must-see.

A fair reviewer would’nt compare the movie Paul Newman stars in, but a blurb on the DVD jacket from unabashedly states: “A combination of Superbad and Slapshot”, I watche with no expectation.

Cheesy Bruin

What is a hockey nut not to like about a hockey movie? Goon starts out as former NHL enforcer Big Georges Laraque jostles with and baits his opponent prior to puck-drop at the face-off circle. (Laraque is seen in other frames later on as well.) The gloves and sticks are dropped–Welcome to Goon! The film introduces friends Pat and Doug through a fusion of Wayne’s World and called Hot Ice and is basically a fisticuffs highlight show with a Q & A segment taking place on a crappy production set. (A free Sam Adams Lager to the first person identifying whose goalie mask is sitting on the table.) Opening music is the Allman Brothers’, Ain’t Wastin’ Time No More, as an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme makes its way over a Boston bridge and mimics my music and automotive taste.

As part of its cast, the movie boasts classically trained actor Liev Schreiber, who is renowned for Shakespearean roles. LV captivates the audience as hockey’s aging all-time goon. It’s not not much more than a cameo – the low budget must meant he got paid have paid by the word.

The best acting performance is carried by Jay Baruchel (and co-writer) as Pat, Doug “The Thug” Glatt – a Beastie Boyz-ish best friend whose unfiltered language is part of the movie’s humorous depiction of rabid hockey fans. Pat’s gestures are some we haven’t already seen but are matched well with the delivery of the character’s lines and make for some suture splitting laughter.

Two smaller roles worthy of mention are the Assassins’ Head Coach and the Highlander’s play-by-play commentator. How these two men delivered their lines without laughing or pissing themselves is beyond belief. And if I could, I’d love to get one of those Halifax Highlanders mascot dolls.  The hockey action is true and the locker room banter is absolutely outstanding and where the most recited “Goon” lines are to come. Sean William Scott as the Goon is not to go unnoticed. He plays the film’s only character comfortable in his own skin with a heightened awareness of his purpose on and off the ice. And he’s a simpleton.

Forget the thumbs; this hockey movie gets two fists… way up!

West Coast Craig, tomorrow.

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.