SEATTLE, WA – Our man Cam James astutely broke down MLB’s post-season races on Thursday. Today we’re adding a little flavor to the current leaders and a few hopefuls preparing for the stretch run. It’s also Anthony Ray’s 49th birthday—whom you know better as Sir Mix-A-Lot, and whose greatest hits are matched to playoff hopefuls.
New York Yankees: The baseball whorehouse is located off of River Avenue and the team celebrates often with parades sailing up the Canyon of Heroes in October.
Song: Posse on Broadway
Texas Rangers: The two-time defending AL Champs, with stable leadership in Ron Washington and Nolan Ryan and the big bat of Josh Hamilton, are still waiting to breakthrough in the World Series.
Song: Buckin’ My Horse
Chicago White Sox: Maybe it’s me but I have a hard time taking this team seriously… and that’s without Ozzie Guillen in an ultra competitive American League.
Song: Posin’ Like A Playa
Detroit Tigers: The former car capitol of the USA boasts a Cadillac in Justin Verlander as part of its pitching staff. The other four guys are a Pinto, Gremlin, Pacer, and Chevette.
Song: My Hooptie
Baltimore Orioles, Oakland Athletics: These two teams are racing for the post-season and last I checked, you can’t spell one of Ferrari’s most iconic cars without O’s and A’s.
Tampa Rays: Not far enough south to be discounted for a playoff spot but South enough on the map to enjoy a handful of…
Song: Buttermilk Biscuits
Washington Nationals: The least likely place to limit spending is D.C., with its $14.6 trillion debt. But restricting young aces to 180 innings is an exercise in frugality – if not stupidity.
Song: I Checks My Bank
Cincinnati Reds: Dusty Baker with his toothpick, Joey Votto with his Pimp-stick, and a bunch of bad asses goin’ after it like nobody’s business.
Song: Just da Pimpin’ In Me
San Francisco Giants: No explanation necessary given the city and its population.
Song: Big Johnson
Los Angeles Dodgers: Before cell phones, a square piece of technology clipped to a belt or pocket was relevant when the Dodgers last won the World Series. Remember 1988, Mets fans?
Atlanta Braves: Oh the days of screaming eagle Chief Knockahoma before political correctness left him homeless is a tribute to Apache and the Sugar Hill Gang.
Song: Jump On It
Pittsburgh Pirates: As unexplainable as their success is a man whose singing is more intelligible than his speech as Sir Mix’s version of Ozzy’s heavy metal work.
Song: Iron Man
St. Louis Cardinals: Defending World Series champs are going to have to do it from behind like the past two times reaching the glory hole.
Song: Baby Got Back
West Coast Craig, a man with chunk in the trunk, tomorrow.