Cookie’s Corner: Mark Sanchez, P. Diddy, Jessica Biel, Tim Tebow & Hurricane Sandy Alderson

P. Diddy Crash Leaves White Man Pigeon-Toed

WESTPORT, CT – This weekend I’m coming to you from the fine, balmy waters of the Long Island Sound off Compo Beach in Westport, Connecticut – previously home to Paul Newman, before he dropped dead.  As Hurricane Sandy approaches, I’ll be jumping in the water for a 3.5 mile swim.  Smooth move?  Perhaps.  But then again, standing in a store changing-room, trying on a wetsuit with a 3-year-old & a 6-year-old tugging me isn’t exactly smart either.  Alas… I’m always up for some excitement.  And this week our favorite Celebs were no different, coming up with some Smooth Moves of their own.

P. Diddy Boom Boom:  Car crash!  No, not Lindsay Lohan (she couldn’t find her car keys), but P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Jean/Sean Combs got into a car crash, sustaining multiple injuries to his neck, ribs and collarbone. As TMZ reports: “After the crash, Diddy was seen laying out on the grass.”  I am not sure why I find this visual funny, but I do.  I’d also like it to be clear: LAYING on the grass should not be confused with SMOKING the grass. Thank you.

Justin Timberlake/Jessica Biel: The on again/off again couple of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel married this past week in Italy.  Angry Ward is the one who hipped me to the fact that the bride wore pink.  Read that last sentence again.  That is all.

Another Booby Bobbi Move: Just a few weeks after Bobbi Kristina Brown (daughter of dead Whitney Houston and brain dead Bobbi Brown) got into a car accident… guess what?  Bobbi Brown decides it’s his prerogative to drive under the influence and gets tagged for it! He also has a prior DUI from this year and is currently on two years probation.

Box placement FAIL.

Eva-less Jets:  It’s over.  The romance between Mark “The Sanchize” Sanchez and Eva “I Like Guys Who Play With Balls” Longoria is over. Rumor has it that Eva couldn’t deal with Mark’s crappy moods” for all the Jets losses.  It’s also been rumored that Tim Tebow is partly excited about A) The craptastic season means he’s got a better chance of getting the ball but B) He’s upset because he’s wondering why God hasn’t returned any of his calls since he’s been in NY.

Katy Perry’s Box: This week Katy Perry  felt the need to unleash on us her political preference.  Why she thinks we care, no one knows.  The ex-Mrs. Russell Brand (seen in the Gatorade Commercial) was seen wearing a dress with the candidates’ names on it and the one she is choosing is blacked in.  While people are split on her political choice, everyone agrees that her box is in COMPLETELY the wrong place.

And with that… adieu. Come on back later this evening for Dr. Diz and his College Football Whiz… I gotta go make sure the generator has enough gas and I’ve got enough vodka for Hurricane Sandy next week.

P.s… There’s nothing about Sandy Alderson, but enjoy the picture, Met fans…


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About Cookie 101 Articles
Cookie, like 7 fifths of the MTM staff, was brought in by The Franchise (Angry Ward). They met sitting near each other at a NY Rangers game. She's our Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" - by day the fetching wife and young mother of two little boys; by night the hot, sports fanatic that mixes in triathlons and X-Treme sports with her love for the Yankees, Brooklyn Nets, NY Rangers and... Denver Broncos. She is, like most of the rotation, more than a bit sassy, bakes like nobody's business and is one smart... Cookie. She too, needs to be in a bikini as often as possible.