NEW YORK, NY – From beer-chugging lineman to too-cliched-for-Central Casting GMs, this is one helluva time for sports punditry! Let’s pop the trunk, lift the hood and kick the tires on this thing, shall we? Let’s look at the Mets hiring Jerry Maguire -aka Brodie Van Wagenenenen, and the Ottawa Redblacks‘ Jon Gott.
Show Me The Money! No, this is NOT the slogan for the 2019 New York Mets. Although, it could be the rant of fans when directing their ire toward Mets management, whom have been about as willing to spend real money as a Scotsman in the Buckingham Palace Gift Shop. Enter Hollywood Hunk, Brodie Van Wagenen. The C.A.A. agent-turned-GM has zero front office experience. But he looks good, wears expensive suits – from proceeds of negotiating contracts for Jacob deGrom, Yoenis Cespedes and Todd “The Umps Are Against Me” Frazier. Hey, as Meatloaf so powerfully yet simultaneously crooned, “two out of three ain’t bad.” One might wonder about a possible conflict of interest, what with the agent for three key components to the team’s success having such $ignificant tie$ to Van Wags. Well no worries, Mets fans, the Wilpons say it’s okay. Oh, and those same Wilpons had actually asked The Wagenator to submit potential GM candidates for consideration. Then, negotiating against themselves, they said, “Hey, you should toss your hat in the ring.” Spoiler alert: their references got him the gig. Hang on to your hats, this should be a doozie of a campaign.
Let’s skip (literally) to the grid iron.
Beer and Football? Apparently these two things go together. And when you have a professional offensive lineman drinking on the job, it’s pure entertainment. Beer League softball guys everywhere are blushing with Jon Gott man-crushes. “See, he’s just like us! We could do that!” Save it. No you can’t. And you can bet your sweet bippy that this will not be a trend. Short-lived or not, the Gott’s got grit, something the NY Giants offensive line has lacked since David Diehl took the cleats off. Maybe the front office should grab this guy, put him on the line and let the whole line chug every series Eli Manning doesn’t get pummeled. Can you say Conrad Dobler, everybody?
And there you have it. After getting over wanting to punch me – our yourself – in the face for serving up that helping of Meatloaf, feel free to weigh in below and come back tomorrow for Different Matt, a man that doesn’t trust Canadians.
