Big Ben Tuesday: Dave “The Dunce” Gettleman’s Nonsensical Post-Draft Babbling Horrifies Giants’ Fans

The Savior...

East Rutherford, NJ: I’ve been trying to talk myself into the pick of Eli Jr. since the draft. If the New York Giants identified Daniel Jones as the guy, Dave Gettleman had to make sure to get him at six. But several things have chipped away at my efforts to be positive, not the least of which is the endless stream of dumb statements pouring out of the mouth of our bumbling GM since the draft. 

The Savior…

The Babbling GM

Based on his disjointed off-season moves, it’s hard to trust this guy. It doesn’t help that he sounds like a drunken Red Sox fan who just suffered a head trauma, but he sure has said some dumb sh!t since the draft. 

Maybe we’re going to be the Green Bay model, where Rodgers sat for three years.”

Bro, if Jones isn’t starting by at least 2020, it was horrible pick. You reached for a guy that you probably could’ve gotten later and you’re gonna red-shirt him for three years? The “Green Bay Model” will never be in play because you’ll be fired before the three years are up.

Knows for a fact the bagel shop guy loved the Jones pick…

“After the three series I watched, I saw a professional quarterback. So that’s when I was in full-blown love.

This is Gettleman talking about Jones in the Senior Bowl. You’ve probably heard, and either cringed violently if you’re a Giants’ fan or belly laughed for 45 minutes if you’re a hater, that the Giants now have drafted Senior Bowl MVPs in three straight drafts. The team knows it’s a glorified exhibition game, right? Many of the best players don’t even play. Please tell me they know that.

I know for a fact there were two teams that would’ve taken him in front of 17, I know that for a fact.”

Stockpiling Senior Bowl MVPs

I’m not sure how he could have known this for a fact without cheating. Does he have a mole in teams’ front offices? Maybe other GMs were just very candid with him for some reason.

What’s more likely, and it pains me to say this, is that Gettleman got outfoxed by Daniel Snyder and John Elway. That’s not something he’ll want on his resume. As the draft got closer, word got out that the Giants loved Jones. Maybe the Skins and Donkeys faked interest in Jones to get Gettles to panic and take Jones too early.

I don’t think we’ll ever know the truth, the Skins or Broncos aren’t going to admit they wanted Jones over the guys they got. But reports have come out indicating that the Broncos weren’t taking a QB at ten and had Drew Lock rated higher than Jones. And Washington had Dwayne Haskins rated higher.

There’s no truth to the rumor that the Giants did all their scouting at the Senior Bowl

Speaking of Lock, it has also been reported that the Giants gave him an almost identical rating as Jones. If that’s the case, they could have gotten Lock with their second round pick if they had stayed put and still gotten Josh Allen and Dexter Lawrence. If they’re all but equal on your board, you go for the value pick.

Also, the Giants could have taken Allen at six and they still had plenty of draft capital to move back up from 17 to take Jones. Detroit was looking to trade down from 8, reportedly.

You guys are forgetting, Markus Golden two years ago before the ACL had 14 sacks. He’s coming back, whatever he had, five last year. We added him. Lorenzo (Carter) is going to be better. He had the five last year. They get better. The young kids do improve, you know?


I don’t mean to nitpick, but Golden had 12.5 sacks in 2017. That’s not a big difference, but it belies a guy trying to sell you some bullsh!t. I can tell you right now, the Giants are going to struggle to pressure QBs.

Golden may help, but he’s signed for one year. If he has a big year, the Giants will have to buck up to keep him. Since not many think the Giants are going to be legit contenders in 2019, it doesn’t really matter. If you’re counting on him as part of your future, maybe you should have given him a longer contract. Don’t mention Golden, a stop gap, as a valid reason for not taking a pass rushing demon, rated by most scouts as one of the top three or four players in the draft. And Carter had four sacks last year, I wouldn’t put him in the Hall of Fame just yet. I’m starting to think this GM might be an ass.

And when asked by a Giants’ fan if he knew what he’s doing with the Jones pick, Gettleman had this rock solid retort:

We’re all set Josh, we have Markus Golden for this year.

“I was at my bagel shop this morning. Guy said to me, ‘Dave, great pick.”

Why didn’t you say so, Dave? If some guy at your bagel shop thinks it was a great pick, I’m sold. This really happened.

As far as I’m concerned we had a hell of a weekend.

Phew. I forgot that Gettleman is smarter than everyone else.

Pass the Xanax

The Giants effectively traded Odell Beckham Jr., the most electric offensive player in their history, for Dexter Lawrence, Oshane Ximines, and Jabrill Peppers

Bright spot?

One Bright Spot?

The Giants went big at CB and the Notre Dame kid Julian Love at #108 seems like their best value pick by far. Between Love, first rounder Deandre Baker, and last year’s supplemental pick Sam Beal, along with new safeties Jabrill Peppers and Antoine Bethea, the Giants might actually have a decent secondary. And they’d better, because they sure ain’t going to get to the QB too often.

I have hope that Jones will work out, but I have no confidence that Gettleman has a coherent plan he is capable of executing. Let’s hope I’m wrong.

Swing by tomorrow for Angry Ward, who fell in full-blown love with a burrito once. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About Ben Whitney 350 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.