Angry Ward Sabado Gigante!: Columbia Should Eat Sh!t and Other Things on My Mind


BRONX, NY – It’s Saturday morning at 9:21 or so and, since I’m not seeing anyone posting yet, I’d thought I’d step into the content void. I’ve got a couple of things to get off my sunken chest anyway. Let’s do this.

F**k Columbia University! I just read this week that Columbia University is no longer funding its legendary, and highly disorganized, marching band. Furthermore, they are banning said band from appearing at any athletic events. As someone who grew up going to laughably awful Columbia football games, the crazy band was one of their saving graces. Whichever University officials are responsible for this edict should eat the death pill.

Pete Alonso, just tied Aaron Judge’s rookie home run record last night at 52, and he did it without some stupid club-created rooting section and he also did it NOT playing in some rinky-dink Wiffle Ball park. Come at me, Bro!

New York Giants. I sincerely hope the Giants beat the holy piss out of Daniel Snyder’s Washington Native Americans tomorrow. Though, if I were a betting man, I’d probably take the visitors and the 3 points.

OK, I’m told I need to take a shower as we are going to the Mall to get my kid some cleats and shinguards while my wife goes to T.J. Maxx. When did I morph into Frank the Tank from Old School?

Come back tomorrow for CheesyBruin and his NFL picks of ruin.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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