NEW YORK, NY – In a tipsy-topsy, crazy and wacky world… Wait, what’s that? This is a sports column and not a movie trailer, you say? Oh, I beg to differ, as the subplots exploding at every turn here in Mattville could be fodder for a film franchise rivaling the numbers of those in the Star Wars film vault. Speaking of stars and subplots, let’s get to today’s topics: Dellin Betances Paid Off By Stanks? Improbable Isles, Staff Boycott.
Starting backwards, which seems appropriate today…
Staff Boycott
Our Sunday Super Stud, Cheesy Bruin (aka Rich Perlongo), posted earlier but the passionate column wasn’t about sports. It was an opinion piece re our under-fire police and growing tensions regarding interactions between cops and civilians. The judgement was made to pull the article as per what we advertise on our banner. The Cheese Man opted-out on an edit or re-write and respectfully requested we note this as his boycott of the boycotting. Hopefully, Mr. Cheese will be back at it next Sunday. We’ve sent Angry Ward and Grinding Ax Walt to negotiate said return. If that ain’t a movie, nothing is. “The Wild, The Bruin & The Cowboy. coming to a theater near you…”
Improbable Isles
As a NY Rangers fan, the NY Islanders are, and always will be, a source of dislike. BUT… this batch of grinding, team-first Fish Sticks have me begrudgingly tuning in for glimpses of their improbable Stanley Cup run. That is all I can muster re the Isles other than “Potvin Sucks,” as my hypocrisy only goes so far. I hope they lose the Cup in triple over-time in game 7.
Dellin Betances Paid Off By Stanks? (Thanks to Angry Ward for the topic)
Admittedly, yours truly was fully convinced the Alzheimer’s had finally taken command of what little cerebral function remained in my head. See, through a collision of unforeseen events, I was following the Mets vs Yankees while walking the god, all the while thinking they were playing another double-header. 
In blink of time lost negotiating picking up poop, putting the mask on and fighting Spectrum Cable on the phone, I saw that the Mets batting in the 8th, trailing 1-0. How can this be?! They are only playing 7 inning games in twin-bills! What did I miss?! New rule?! Perplexed and perspiring with worry about my insurance covering assisted living, I got Shasky into the dog run parallel to the Intredpid, let him off the leash and grabbed a spot away from all the skivats dog-owners to investigate. Frantic, my thumbs worked the phone at warp speed to the MLB schedule table. It was just one game!
[EXHALE]
And just then, Wilson Ramos knocks a game-tying dinger in that Little League park called Yankee Stadium. Tie game! All is good in the world again… for a fleeting moment, at least. Not soon after some more futility from both offenses, the hard cold reality of professional sports rears its ugly head… game-fixing. Channeling soiled NBA ref Tim Donaghy and the late Hot Rod Williams, the New York Stanks allegedly are paying off Dellin Betances and… Brodie Van Wagenen. How else can one explain Betances throwing like Cam James’ hero Rick Ankiel from a mound on which he had great success? Let the evidence speak for itself.
https://youtu.be/pSDiV8Yo0TQ
And with that for you to contemplate/call your local representatives about, I’ll end. Feel free to comment below and come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, who taught Dr. Fauci how to throw.
