PISCATAWAY, NJ – While the town of Piscataway may be in the bowels of the Garden State, it’s still significant in NBA history. The reason why is just part of today’s Monday Sports Spectacular (sweeps week title). The other components meant to grab you by shirt collar and smack some excitement into your day are: Gyms Open, Hawkeyes Blinded By Covid?
Nets Burst Knicks Bubble
Granted, they allowed a record output of 100 points by the Drake-driven, reigning champion Toronto Raptors’ bench in a playoff game, but really, how many Nets can Joan/John Q. Sports-Fan name? The guess here is two – and Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving weren’t even in the building. Oh yeah, DeAndre Jordan, Spencer Dinwiddie, Taurean Prince & Wilson Chandler opted out, so they were AWOL, too. Yet… the Teaneck Long Island New York Piscataway East Rutherford Brooklyn Nets were actually in the NBA Playoffs. The Knicks, meanwhile, were busy shatting the NBA Lottery bed from the golf course and lost down to the 8th pick in the draft. Maybe Julius Erving has something to do with it. Perhaps it’s the Curse of Patrick Ewing (that draft was fixed, folks). Could it be Bernard King’s Ghost that keeps the Knickerbockers down while the Netsies simply compete more often than their nearby net-seeking neighbors? That remains to be seen but the NBA’S less popular NYC step-child has been better than the New York Knicks, historically speaking, for 4o years running. Jason Kidd is awaiting any naysayer calls, as the Nets continue to burst the Knickies’ bubble.
Gyms Opening
Mayor Doofus has declared that gyms can start reopening. While yours truly is cautiously happy for gym owners (and gym-goers that need that in their lives), homey also thinks that the spread of cooties will be the unavoidable result of swapping sweat-jizz in the inevitable close quarters of “Can you spot me?” salons. Skivats.
Hawkeyes Blinded By Covid?
Wow! A big-time NCAA College program has figured out that the numbers just don’t work. Sure, the University of Iowa had its football season postponed, as per their conference. But the school has now discontinued men’s gymnastics, men’s tennis and men’s and women’s swimming and diving. That sucks for the athletes and their families but frankly speaking, only Big Ben Whitney watches any of those really boring competitions. Read into that as you may – we don’t rely on fact here; unfounded innuendo is king. Seriously, however, the stunningly transparent quote from the school’s administration will likely be echoed across the American college landscape in the coming weeks. Consider these: ”
“A loss of this magnitude will take years to overcome.” -President Bruce Harreld and athletic director Gary Barta.
Feel free to offer your thoughts below and come back tomorrow for the aforementioned Big Ben Whitney, tomorrow.
