Fill-In Ward Friday: Pack Pull Off Card Trick, Blackhawks Another Black Mark on Sports, and Will Dak Play?

BRONX, NY – No one, and I mean NO ONE, is minding the store today, so I’ve been asked to post something. Something, it shall be! I live for moments when the stakes are pretty much nonexistent. Let’s talk some sports, Sports.

No-Name Offense Beats Last Undefeated NFL Team. The Packers went into Arizona last night and took down the mighty Cardinals with a receiving corps that resembled the Fraternity House pledge rejects in Animal House. Don’t get me wrong, Mohammet, Jugdish, Sidney, and Clayton didn’t grab any touchdowns, but Green Bay still got an impressive win with a seriously depleted roster. Boy are their fans gonna be upset when Aaron Rodgers leaves.

Chicago Blackhawks. I can’t even with this story. It’s a nightmare. God knows all of the horrible sh!t that goes down in the name of sports that never sees the light of day. How many more Sanduskys and Nassars are out there? And when is the NFL going to release the rest of those WFT emails?

Will Dak Play? This Sunday night my Vikings will be hosting the Dallas Cowboys, and there’s still some question as to whether the Pokes starting QB Dak Prescott will play? By the way, did you know his real first name is Rayne? Anyway, I’m betting that doofus Dallas HC Mike McCarthy will not put him in harm’s way as he gets over a calf injury. Minnesota may be inept at a lot of things this year, but getting after the quarterback isn’t one of them. Throw him out there, I say. Fresh, yet slightly-hobbled meat for the hungry Viking hordes.

Okay, I’m done. Have actual real life stuff to tend to, including rustling up some lunch. Feel free to comment on anything you damn please.

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About Angry Ward 747 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.