The Bull Hits the Pen

WHITESTONE, NYWhen will the madness stop? Our newly/overly sensitive nation has reacted once again by messing with America’s Pastime. The Sensitives got their way by bullying the Cleveland baseball franchise to drop their “Indians” name. Having been called the Indians since 1915, someone found it offensive to the Indian tribe. The new name, which officially started on the diamond this week, 2, is the Cleveland Guardians.

Bullpen Car

Another sensitive group has protested the word, bullpen, as in the area where pitchers warm-up. PETA has requested a name change, calling the word bullpen sensitive to cows. The name originated in the late 19th century after latecomers to ballgames were gathered into standing room areas in foul territory. Since the fans were herded like cattle the area became known as “the bullpen.” Eventually, the bullpen area became the spot where pitchers would throw before entering a game.

Aristostle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis

The cattle that got rattled over the name have not been identified, which leads to yet another question of, “What the f**k is going on in this nation?

Why stop there, it’s only a matter of time before the different breeds of birds start chirping about names like the Cardinals, Orioles, and Blue Jays. Their case will state that while those teams are bringing in millions of bucks into their own piggy banks, the poor fowls are feeding off birdseed. The ball will clearly go foul for fowls.

Enough said. It’s time for the new “Woke America” to wake the f**k up before countries take advantage of our newly found sensitivity and bully us to the ground.

Leave your thoughts below and come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, a man that lives in Buffalo, a town that will surely be forced to change its name.

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About Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis 25 Articles
Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis is the junkiest of baseball junkies. He plays in 4 leagues, well past his 40th birthday, and spends the winter in Florida shagging flies at Yankees minor league complexes. He's also a retired Riker's Island police officer - having worked the night shift for 20+ years.