A Baseball Guru Serving Slices as the Game Crumbles

The quality of pro baseball has gone down the drain. Let’s start with the coaching staffs. The days of hiring ex-players are gone. The owners of today are taking employees from their hedge fund firms and creating positions in pro baseball for them.

NEW YORK, NY – The ANALytical staff members, whose only baseball knowledge was probably swinging a wiffleball bat, have greatly contributed to the demise of the game. These morons are so clueless about simplicity that they actually believe a Hit and Run is an automobile mishap and a Suicide Squeeze is an emotional problem.

There is a baseball guy living in New Jersey named Angelo Nicolosi, who can be found behind the counter of his father’s pizza shop in Phillipsburg, New Jersey.

When Angelo is not making pies or serving customers, he can be found down South at Valdosta State University, where he is the Recruiting Coordinator of its baseball team.

Before that gig he was an Assistant Coach at St. Johns River State College, where he had current major leaguers, Miles Straw and Nate Lowe as players. Angelo was also a part time scout with the Chicago White Sox, video/scouting coordinator with the L.A. Dodgers and an assistant coach with Tallahassee Community College, where he practically did everything, including putting down the white foul lines and washing the players’ uniforms.

My question is, why is a guy with so much knowledge and experience in baseball making and serving baked dough at Nicolosi’s Pizza? His resume has been sent out to numerous pro teams and Division I colleges. The rejection responses he gets are the same old comical tone. He either has too much experience or no Division I experience.

Aristostle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis

Angelo is the master at pitching batting practice and conducting a pre-game infield workout. He is right up there with old-school veterans, Glen Hubbard and Nick Leyva, who were eventually phased out for the newer, younger generation that bear a college degree but no baseball skills.

With the hiring of unheard of names, Angelo Nicolosi at least has a knowledge of the game, so any team should consider  him. In the meantime, the most skilled baseball guy I know will continue making and serving pizza pies in his father’s shop as baseball’s loss is the customer’s appetite gain.

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About Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis 128 Articles
Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis is the junkiest of baseball junkies. He plays in 4 leagues, well past his 40th birthday, and spends the winter in Florida shagging flies at Yankees minor league complexes. He's also a retired Riker's Island Corrrection Officer - having worked the night shift for 20+ years.