Angry Ward: A Birthday Bash, A Bold Prediction, and a Dynamite QB Waiting for a Call

Angry Ward, Meet-The-Matts, Mrs Met, Kirk Cousins, Damar Hamlin, NHL, NFL, MLB, Elvis, Boulevard of Broken Dreams

BRONX, NY – Well, it’s only Wednesday, but what a week it’s been. I’m going to lay off the obvious story, which was covered here solidly yesterday. My pal Ken Belson also did about as good a job as you can do, under these circumstances, for the New York Times. I think we all feel the same about it… terrible. So, I’m going to try to find some other stuff to talk about. Time to search for some positives.

Happy Birthday to My Big Brother! On Monday night, my family and a handful of former MTM staples (Grote2DMax, Cheesy Bruin, and JG Clancy, among other local luminaries), helped my brother Chris celebrate his 60th Birthday. It was good eats and even better company at Frankie & Johnnie’s Pine in the Bronx. We caught the end of the Bruins/Penguins Winter Classic tilt from Fenway at the bar and swiftly adjourned to the dining room. But NOT before a bold prediction was made…

Happy Birthday, Happy Chris! (Angry Ward’s big bro)!
Cheesy Bruin

Vikings Will Beat the Giants, I Guarantee It.” My fellow long-suffering Vikings fan JG Clancy might’ve been feeling lightheaded from all the weight he’s lost, but he made this proclamation loud and clear. He thinks if the Vikes face the Giants in the first round of the playoffs, they’re gonna win. He also likes their chances of going to the Super Bowl every year… albeit with the caveat that they will definitely lose.

Grote2DMax

Being certain of a Vikings post season win is something so foreign to me, I can make no strong recommendations for anyone to risk any money on such a prediction. But, if he keeps trimming down, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Clancy boxing in the Light Heavyweight division by the end of 2023.

JG Clancy

Paging Uncle Rico. After watching Carson Wentz get his umpteenth chance to flush another team’s playoff hopes down the crapper last weekend, and knowing that a guy like Nate Peterman is still collecting a National Football League paycheck, it’s safe to say it appears you really don’t have to be all that good anymore to be a pro football quarterback. So, when my wife finally got me to start watching the second season of White Lotus on HBO Max, and I saw actor Jon Gries, I immediately thought of his turn as Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Gries was great in other stuff like Real Genius and Get Shorty, but I now fully believe that Uncle Rico could have gone pro. Maybe he couldn’t actually throw a football over a mountain range, but he could sure as hell throw one hell of a midrange route steak, and could definitely be holding a clipboard for any number of teams right now. He should start sending that workout video he shot outside his van around the league.

Okay, I’m done for this week and off next week for some minor surgery. Come on back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who definitely voted for Pedro.

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About Angry Ward 736 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.