Angry Ward Friday: Screaming Into the Void and Filling-In on Friday

BRONX, NY – So, I showed up here this morning and no one had turned the lights on. I figured, “no big deal,” and decided to go about my workday. Anyway, I came back after lunch and still no lights. Guess it’s up to me.

Carlos Rodon on IL. Yankee fans cannot like hearing this news. As anyone who follows the Mets will tell you, we are NOT fans of hearing of any kind of forearm issue with a star pitcher. Not ever good. Hope Rodon’s thing is no big deal, and that he’s back 100% healthy, and gets shelled by the Orioles anyway.

Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant rolled his ankle in warmups prior to his first home game in Phoenix the other night. That doesn’t even sound like a plausible plot point for a movie, let alone something that just happened in real life. Suns should be able to keep it going until he’s back.

Vikings Release Adam Thielen. This is absolutely FINE by me. Now please cut Harrison Smith and trade Cousins and I’ll send you guys a belated Valentine’s Day card.

Okay, I got the sports out of the way. This is where I tell you how disappointed I am in Management for not posting something up here today. You’re both lazy and you rely wayyy too much upon shiftless, unaccountable alcoholics. I’d say it’s time for a “Come to Jesus” talk but, like everyone else, we know the Good Lord is doing his best to avoid you.

Anyway, have a great weekend, everyone!

FIN.

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About Angry Ward 737 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.