March Madness Drives Me Crazy… or Crazier: Invoking Harlem Globe Trotters

DENVER, CO – This year I am the luckiest non-fan of basketball.  As a Missourian whose tax dollars have largely funded decades of mediocrity – or more recently – abject failure, Wednesday was a day that will live in infamy, if only for another forty eight hours.

Early in the afternoon Mizzou beat Utah State.  The officiating was highly suspect.  It was as if the cast of Hoosiers could do no wrong whilst playing the Globe Trotters.  A bunch of little white guys tried to pound it inside against Mizzou and got every call in the book.  Thankfully talent overcame and my Tigers pulled out the win.  This was extra sweet for me as I have been in SLC all week on business.
Then came the shocker.  Princeton beat Zona. How many teams in NCAA history have had a path to the Sweet Sixteen wherein they play two double digit seeds with rosters full of average white guys?  My guess is Mizzou this year and not many others.
Am I excited that Mizzou could make the Sweet Sixteen?  Sure. However, I can’t help but feel uneasy. It’s as if I feel the Washington Generals might win two games in a row.  With that in mind I feel that karma will only be on my side if I honor the best Generals players of all time.
Now for something different…
After some cursory research, this was the dumbest column idea I have ever come up with. I am rustier than Red Klotz.  Generally speaking, being the best at sucking is more of an only-fans moniker than a sports moniker.
Let’s switch gears.
If you are a Jets fan who likes the idea of Aaron Rodgers coming to NYC then you probably own the following jerseys: Amare Staudemire, Bobby Bonilla, Joakim Noah, Jacoby Elsbury, Rick DiPietro, Carl Pavano, Eddy Curry, Allan Houston, and if we are really getting picky Neil O’Donnell.
A-A- Ron is simply using NYC for a last ditch effort money grab in the way that all the aforementioned players did.  The Jets would be just as good signing Jameis Winston for peanuts or maybe even a peanut vendor contract.
In other news baseball starts soon and Jordan Binnington threw the best goalie punch of the season this week.
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About Cam James 128 Articles
Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his occasional "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.