by Eddiz
ARLINGTON, TX – It’s not hell but you can see it from here.
Down here in Texas, the Bible-bangers are at it again. Seems there is this piece of sculpture designed for a business park a couple of decades ago. It’s called Caelum Moors and was meant to evoke the Scottish and Celtic heritage of the business park owners. But then they went bankrupt and donated the piece to the city of Arlington. And that’s when things got weird.
Arlington installed the thing, which kinda sorta looks like a mini Stonehenge, in a park. And several of the local fundamentalist clergy went… well… nuts. They claimed that the sculpture was the “The work of Satan!” and was purposely designed for pagan and satanic worship.
So what did the municipality of Arlington, America’s largest city with no mass transit and a Mecca of conservative, Middle American values do? Stick up for the Constitution, laugh at these guys or just ignore them? Nope. None of the above. Instead, they took the thing down and stored it in a water treatment plant for twelve years.
Take that Silly Satan; you bad, bad deity!
So now comes Jerry World, the sparkling new ballpark built for the Cowboys, and the decision was made to resurrect Caelum Moors. The same day it was rededicated, chaplain Michael Tummillo posted on a Web site: “Occultic landmark resurrected near home of the Dallas Cowboys.” The letter was headlined, “No Witchcraft Park in Arlington.” In an online religious tract, The Battle of Caelum Moor, Tummillo blames Caelum Moors for a series of divorces, deaths and church and business failures. Tummillo was part of the original 1996 witch-hunt in Arlington:
- “I believe there’s a devil and that we tugged on his cape. There was a demonic backlash. That satanic spirit has been lying dormant. It’s back now.”
You can’t make stuff like this up. But it got me thinking. Maybe there’s something to it.
Is Jerry Jones the spawn of the devil?
To start off with, he’s an NFL owner, and thus would follow a long line of Beelzebub’s acolytes who have preceded him. Who can forget Robert Irsay, the evil man who moved the Colts in the middle of the night from Baltimore, thus bringing great glee to the Prince of Darkness. Art Model, who fired Paul Brown as manager of the Cleveland Browns (thus ending their championship era) and then, 10 years later, shipped the team off to Baltimore who have a defense led by an actual murderer. Leonard Tose, who owned the Philadelphia Eagles but gambled and drank his way through his fortune, ending up in a one room Atlantic City hotel in his last days. And good ol’ Al Davis.
Yep, Lucifer definitely has had his clutches in a few of Jerry predecessors.
And there’s other stuff too.
Jerry’s rich, rich, rich. But no one can tell you exactly how he got there, it’s not like he invented anything, runs a big company like Microsoft, or such. Nope, he just got rich doing “dealsâ€. Hmmm… Ever seen the movie Rosemary’s Baby?
He owns the Cowboys. Everyone hates the Cowboys except their retarded, evil fans. Mother Teresa hated the Cowboys. The only good thing about the Cowboys is their cheerleaders, who brought a little lust to the No Fun League (which was already well supplied with the other 6 of the 7 deadly sins,especially pride and greed).
He wants to move the Cotton Bowl and the annual Texas vs. Oklahoma game (the Red River rivalry) from the storied house that has seen players like Doak Walker, Jim Brown, Bob Lilly and Joe Montana to his new digs. To hell with history, says he.
He made the City of Arlington sell their soul to the devil in one of the worst cases of eminent domain abuse in American history to build his ball park, causing the eviction of thousands and the destruction of hundreds of homes. And he charges $10 for a bag of popcorn in the place, just to add insult to injury.
And he played on one of the last all segregated teams, the 1964 Arkansas Razorbacks, to win a national title.
So maybe the Bible bangers are right. Maybe Jerry is in cahoots with the guy from down under. After all, how else can you explain having a numb nut like Wade Phillips as a coach and still be leading your division?
CHANGING GEARS, we’re heading into the final roundup for college ball. Nice to see that the top-ranked teams are really challenging themselves this week; #1 Florida is playing Florida International while #2 Alabammie faces powerhouse Chattanooga, a I-AA team. See? There simply is no shame when it comes to the power conferences in NCAA Division I Football. So, it’s a pretty safe bet they’ll both continue their winning ways this week.
OTHER PICKS:
UConn +6 pulls an upset at Notre Dame, pick em with the points.
#17 Stanford-6.5 powers past #25 California by more than a TD.
O-HI-O State -12.5 blasts rival Michigan and covers.
Kansas State+14.5 beats Nebraska outright to take the so called Big 12 North Division Championship. Easy pick with the points.
SMU +3.5 beats Marshall to take the inside track on a Conference USA crown and their first bowl since 1984, when they had this kid called Eric Dickerson at running back. Go Ponies.
Rutgers -7.5continues to roll, beating a game Syracuse squad by two scores and covering.
Ellis Ewe +3 beats Ol’ Miss in a close one. Surprised they are the underdog here.
Please let some folks know about MTM and prep for Grote2DMax’s GROTE’S GRIPES, Friday…
