by West Coast Craig
PLYMOUTH, MA – With baseball season a month past, the first Pilgrims were starved for sports entertainment. Fortunately, out of the woods bearing gifts came the Natives, wearing bright blue suits and aviator sunglasses. A cornucopia of treats laid out on the table, a peace pipe passed around, and a giant turducken carved for all.
Let’s give thanks…
To Rex O’Rourke on Sundays: For being the only guy on here willing to talk about golf, astronauts, and grilled ribs, and for picking NFL winners this year better than Sam “Ace†Rothstein ever could.
To all of you who read my long-winded (or so I’m told) prattling on Mondays.
To the always entertaining Tuesday slot: Sometimes penned by the Philly Phanatic & Philview, MTM’s Good Cop-Bad Cop routine from Philadelphia. Phanatic’s abrasive attacks are backed by more stats than an insurance seminar, while Philview’s level-headed approach has you saying, “Yes, yes, I’ll admit anything now… Just keep that other guy away from me.”
To Angry Ward on Wednesdays: Whether he’s “on fire†on the front page, raging against the confederacy of morons lining up against him—usually in the Mets front office—or finding new and hilarious ways to link today’s sports figures to b-level sidekicks from sitcoms of the sixties, seventies, or eighties, Wednesdays are more than just “hump day,†they’re the peak of the week.
To relative newcomer Eddiz on Thursdays/whenever: Bursting onto the scene a few months ago with responses longer than most of the posts he was responding to, he has the unenviable task of trying to live up to the slogan on his Texas license plate with all these Yankees lining up in a Santa Anna-like siege against him. The only regular poster with an idea about college sports, he regularly redeems himself with great cheesecake coed pics.
To Cookie and Grote on Fridays: While all other XX chromosomal attempts at infiltrating this boys club have ended up as posters tacked to telephone poles (“Have you seen our Maria at Bat?â€), our tough Cookie has held her own against all the boys and then some… If People and SI ever combined, she should be the editor. When everyone’s favorite fan Sam had to bow out, Grote stepped up and practically Wally Pipped him with continued excellence, carrying this club at times (and, a personal thanks for each Connie Mack reference).
And finally, to the revolving door of Saturday: Apart from some sweeps week-like stunt casting with Yankee fans from Mugsy to Different Matt, the big thanks here of course goes to The Matts. Sure, the editorials can be knee-jerk reactionary and have a habit of contradicting themselves from sentence to sentence, but it’s a lot of work keeping all of this running, keeping everyone happy, and then actually writing stuff sometimes three times a week. I do it but once a week, and let me tell ya, it ain’t easy.
So thanks to everyone involved, and especially to you dear readers and characters in MTMland. It never gets dull around here. Now pass the gravy.
