Punched In Face: Joey Bats Bautista, Mets Out West, Kevin Durant

tim-hortons-standard-storeMOOSE JAW, SK – Something fishy overcomes you when you cross the Rainbow Bridge and enter Her Majesty’s Government. Yes, part of that may well be the “gentlemen’s clubs” that dot the beautiful streets of Windsor, Brantford and Niagara Falls like Dunkin’ Donuts and CVS do here in the States where we’re not all afraid of the dark.

Many a professional athlete has come to Canada to be “healed” and “reinvigorated.” Take Jose Bautista… Please… “Joey Bats” is a #BigFatBaby who wants to showboat and flip bats and bitch about every call. If a pitcher throws a bit inside on him, he’ll spend the next 7 minutes glaring out at the pitcher. Before coming to Toronto at age 29, Bautista had never hit more than 16 home runs in a single season. He’s hit 842 homers in the last 6 years alone.

But you can’t have it both ways. And when you do THIS… all bets are off.

Something tells me that Rougned Odor (himself no shrinking violet) received plenty of supportive texts from players around MLB after he cold-cocked Bautista. ¬†The Jays’ right fielder¬†didn’t just execute a dirty slide on Sunday (at least by today’s sissified ) trying to break up a double play. He did it against the very team-the Texas Rangers-whom he embarrassed in last year’s ALCS with his unchecked flamboyance. So yeah, I kind of think Mr. Bats had it coming.

Kevin Durant: I believe him to be the most overrated player in NBA history. Yet, he somehow gutted out a shocking game 1 victory for the OKC Thunder over the Golden State Warriors last night. At Golden State. Durant shot 10 of 30. He’s 7 feet tall and spends his time beyond the arc begging for the ball. Yes he can shoot. Uncannily well. But he does nothing to get his teammates involved or to raise their level of play. I could be wrong, but I don’t believe he’ll ever win an NBA Title.


Pretty_Woman charlotte mckinneyThe Mets went out West for an 11-game road trip, This is pure speculation but I have no proof that they actually played any games out west. Yes, there was Gary Cohen calling Hank Aaron’s 715th HR and Bobby Thomson’s shot heard ’round the world one night in San Diego. And I did hear something about the Amazin’s getting swept at Coors Field in Denver. But I have nothing but sketchy recollections and hearsay about this road trip.

Once the Mets fly west of the Mississippi, the terms of my implied covenant with the franchise ceases to exist. Games starting at 10:40 PM ET? Are you kidding? Who the hell can stay awake for that? These games – I’m told – ended each night at around 2:15 AM, for crying out loud! Why not just tell the truth? 90% of baseball fans live within a 400 mile corridor in the Northeast. Until MLB realizes that games ending after 2:00 am are further driving young people away from the sport, the more young people are lost to the NFL, the NBA, Instagram, Snapchat, and other shiny things that hold the attention of millennials for more than 10 minutes.

I hate having to say goodbye to my team for 11 days at a time. Stop the charade. The west coast doesn’t matter. It’s science.

That’s all for me. Flip your bats below, follow me/us on Twitter: @AldersonFake and @MeetTheMatts and Facebook Meet The Matts. And don’t miss a re-charged Angry Ward, tomorrow.

P.s… Watch the Dunkin Donuts opening… The rest of it sucks.

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of Metsblog.com blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake