Tag: Lance Armstrong
Angry Ward Wednesday: Pats, Pucks, Baseball and More. February No Longer Sucks
BRONX, NY – It’s February, the Super Bowl is over, everything in the Northeast is encased in a block of ice, and this is normally time for my annual suicide column about how there’s nothing going on in sports and there’s no reason to live. Not so, this year. There’s plenty to chew on and […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Death of a Baseball Season – Your Summer Sports Movies Viewing Guide
New York, NY – As much as it pains me to say this, I think the 2013 Major League Baseball season is in its final death rattles for a lot of us. I realized this just yesterday as I waded through all of the suspension crap and A-Rod horsesh*t as well as countless, meaningless NFL […]
Uber Sports Babe Lori Levine Bringing May Flowers: Favre, Yankees, Rangers, Teen Mom
NEW YORK, NY – So much is happening right now, it’s tough to not follow sports. First, you have Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia talking so much trash, it’s feels like Kobe Bryant on Mother’s Day. And, then you have Brett Farve. There’s talks he may be hired to work in the offices of the […]
Cookie’s Corner: Tough Love For Celebs; Lance, Manti, Beyonce, Ashton
“Oprah is still fat and Lance is still a liar.” – Cookie (aka) The Lynching Latina FROZEN TUNDRA, CT – Another week gone and another year off my life listening to my compadres in the Northeast bitch about how cold it is. It’s winter. If it’s as cold as a witch’s t*t and it’s NOT […]
NFL Playoffs Recap & Things To Do While Not Watching !@#$ Lance Armstrong
“… shame on that hoary billionaire Winfrey for foisting this piece of human excrement on us.” LE FRENCH ALPS – We’ll get to this weekend’s scintillating NFL playoff action, believe you me. But first I’d like to begin with a list of things I’d rather do than watch Lance Armstrong on the Ophrah Winfrey Show […]
Yankees Will Miss The Playoffs, Tebow Will Knock Somebody Up, Dickey Wins 20 & Other Bold Predictions
The Yankees will miss the playoffs. BALTIMORE, MD – You heard it first, right here from the Orson Wells of MTM. There’s a War of The Worlds thing happening in sports… The A’s and Orioles will make the playoffs. Bobby Valentine will not lose his job. R.A. Dickey will be a 20-game winner. I can’t […]
Armstrong Lanced
Climbing the Alps- Most of what I know about cycling, I learned while playing poker. Turns out one of the guys in my weekly game, a physicist, used to be a competitive cyclist when he was younger. I asked if it was because he saw Breaking Away when he was a boy. Sadly, the answer […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Texas Cheat ‘Em
NEW YORK, NY – Congratulations to Roger Clemens for being found not guilty of lying about cheating in front of a room full of liars and cheaters. Bravo. Was there ever a more star-spangled verdict than that? As Charlie Daniels would say, “God Bless America again.” It was made even better by the fact that […]
Drugs: Lin, Lance, Lundquist, Carter & Whitney
STREET CORNER, USA – Drugs seemed to be the theme of the week: those who took em`, those who deny taking `em, and those who never will take `em. So let’s consider then, who’s a druggie and who ain’t. As Cookie mentioned yesterday, Lance Armstrong recently took second place in a competitive half Iron Man triathlon. Lance […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Lie, Cheat, Steal and Win – America Has Lost its Way. A-Rod, Lance, Mets, Pats
BRONX, NY – I went to David Wright’s final Mets game last Saturday night with Short & Tall Matt, but I just don’t have the heart or energy to write about what a disappointment it was. It felt a lot closer to the Mets money-grab I thought it was going to be than the legitimate farewell […]
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